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I gave up on the noncommittal man who was my soulmate. Was I wrong?

HomeForumsRelationshipsI gave up on the noncommittal man who was my soulmate. Was I wrong?

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  • #125842
    Jade
    Participant

    *no longer talks about (excuse error)

    #125851
    Jupiter
    Participant

    Of course you are not wrong, he wants different things and you must find the strength to honor that. If he was cheating and you needed to find out (rather than him being honest about it) then you really don’t know him at all. He can’t be your soul-mate if he’s that dishonest. He’s an actor playing the role of the amazingly confident person that you think he is. Inside, he is not strong if he can’t be honest – he isn’t even honest with himself. Find yourself and fill up on what makes you whole. You are so young! Not that I have it figured out at my age, but there are basic, fundamental aspects of a relationship that you are missing in this person. Therefore, you aren’t really losing what you think you are losing. Does that make sense?

    #125863
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear royal:

    It reads to me that you are doing the reasonable thing by moving on, that your thinking is correct: clearly, to move this relationship forward, one of you would have to relocate and the two of you will need to live together as a monogamous couple. He is not ready- was not ready five years ago, four years ago… a year ago, and currently.

    Why don’t you let him know of your thinking, to truly move on, for the reason above, and give him this one last chance to express himself… and then move on.

    You wrote: “But why do I feel like I’ve made the wrong choice? Have I?”- believing our emotions is due to “emotional reasoning”- because something feels a certain way, we believe it is so. For example: taking a placebo, a pill be FEEL will help us, often does (temporarily). Then in relationships: people with clearly abusive partners, most horrible abuse stories, still FEEL love and keep going back to abuse, because it FEELS like love.

    Emotional-reasoning is a category of distorted-thinking. I learned about it in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

    anita

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