Hi Alma,

Upon reading your post, the first thing that came to me was the idea of the 6 basic human needs. Tony Robbins talks about them here http://training.tonyrobbins.com/the-6-human-needs-why-we-do-what-we-do

Have a read and see if it any of it makes any sense to you.

Hey Alma,

All it means is that if one (or more) of our basic needs aren’t being met i.e. it’s out of balance, we will do something, often unconsciously, to bring back some balance.

So if, for example, there were a lot of certainty in a person’s life and not much uncertainty/variety, that person may do something to bring more variety/uncertainty into their life to make things a bit more balanced again.

Unfortunately, what often happens is that the thing or things they do can sometimes cause problem’s elsewhere in their life.

Whether this is true for you or not, I can’t say for sure – you would have to get very honest with yourself as to why you did what you did. Was you looking for more uncertainty/variety? Was you searching for more connection/love? Only YOU can answer that

Having said all of that, I can’t help but believe you’re being very hard on yourself overall. You’re human and as long as you stay that way as – i’m presuming you will 😉 – mistakes will be made.

No problem Alma,

Think about someone you consider to be a good person. If you discovered they’d made a mistake (or two), similar to your mistake let’s just say, would you automatically consider them a bad person? I bet you wouldn’t. In other words, mistakes do not necessarily mean ‘bad person’.

Most people want to be good people so you’re not alone on that one. The very fact that you responded as you did when your FB friend mentioned that he sometimes felt there was no point to life, shows signs of a person who cares about others wellbeing (yes, it could possibly have been manipulation to get you to hand over your number but that’s beside the point).

And then, you let him know you would not start a relationship with him because you’re already with someone. That’s something to be proud of.

It’s just unfortunate things went the way they did. Sounds like a open, calm talk between both of you will be required.

Lastly, work on forgiving yourself for your actions. 🙂