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I feel terrible, how to cope

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  • October 3, 2015 at 4:08 pm #84633
    Red Car
    Participant

    I have this new friend who I recently developed feelings for. He did ask me a lot of questions about my ex. I freaked out and overshared since I feel that he liked me. I wanted him to know that I was still moving on. Now I feel that I scared him away and that’s when I liked him more. That was really a bad move. He still messages me about little things but when he doesn’t, I feel anxious. There’s lots of self blame on my part. He is such a great guy
    compared to my past men. My thoughts are saying that I screwed up and that he is my last shot. And I scared him off.

    I’m hitting the gym and going back to my old hobbies now. I dress better but I feel that it’s only the external part that looks good. My inner self is still crap. I dont have enough money to see professional help.

    This is such a bummer! I made a mistake and I don’t really know what I should do now.

    October 3, 2015 at 4:50 pm #84635
    jock
    Participant

    I dont have enough money to see professional help.

    We don’t charge much here. It wouldn’t be more than like 250 bucks for your first 20 minute session with me on Skype.
    My name’s Llama Jack by the way.

    October 3, 2015 at 4:53 pm #84636
    jock
    Participant

    My inner self is still crap.

    Forget about any guys. any relationships for a while. Work on your inner self. get into something like Buddhism/Meditation. it’s basically free.
    I’ll leave you with a quote:
    “Beauty is only sin deep”

    October 3, 2015 at 6:26 pm #84641
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Red Car:

    Feel free to share your crap here. I just shared my crap, real guilt in a new thread. It is not fun. My wrongdoing is way, way worse than scaring a guy away. Share your crappy inner self (your words)- who am I to judge…

    anita

    October 3, 2015 at 6:50 pm #84644
    Red Car
    Participant

    Thanks jack. Ive been doing meditation and sitting with my feelings. It does feel like someone’s punched me in the gut. I cant sleep well or eat well though I really want to.

    Im just scared to be alone and that he wa my last shot of a great guy. My friends will soon get married to their partners. Being by myself is ok but it gets tiring too you know. I dont know if I should continue to pursue this guy or just walk away.

    October 3, 2015 at 7:32 pm #84645
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Red Car:

    Thank you for your comment on my thread. Regarding this guy, your thoughts that are telling you that you scared him away, these thoughts may be wrong. Often our thoughts really are wrong.

    Why don’t you ask him if you scared him away? why don’t you tell him you like him and that you are scared that you over shared and that you scared him away. And ASK him. If he is the great guy you think he is, then he will honestly answer you.

    Often people think this relationship thing is a mystery, or like a complicated chess game with right and wrong moves. Maybe it can be much simpler if you honestly tell him what you think and ask him what he thinks. Instead of guessing, ask; instead of torturing yourself with regrets, tell him… and ask.

    This can be a life changer for you, this change in operation here…

    Try it?

    anita

    October 3, 2015 at 8:09 pm #84653
    jock
    Participant

    I just think you might be putting this new guy on a pedestal and you’re worried it is your last chance to get a decent partner.
    Might be better to lower your expectations and ease the pressure you put on yourself.

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