Dear MalaKai:

You clearly feel “so hurt, angry and broken… still in shock and finding it hard to process… scared of how extremely vulnerable I am…  always tired, physically and mentally… I just feel like I am not even heard. I’m starting to really shut down cause it’s like I can no longer manage“-

– You are welcome here, on your thread, to make yourself heard, to express your feelings as they are, without having to make sense of them all.

It reads like your former girlfriend is also having a difficult time managing life, that’s why she has not been back for any of her many personal belongings. The night of Christmas Day was as bad for her as it was for you, maybe more because she had to leave so quickly.

I hope you do receive the therapy that you need, but until then, please share more, express yourself, whatever words and emotions come to mind, type them away. I will read from you and respond whenever you post.

anita

Dear MalaKai:

“I didn’t post to talk about my ex… I’d appreciate if she isn’t referred to in my posts… I’m so tired of everyone trying to rationalise this” – I will accommodate your preferences.

Let’s talk about you and how you feel: “I feel so deeply hurt and broken. Support needed: … I wanted to be spoken to on Christmas Eve. I felt so alone. The house is quite an echoey house… I just feel so hurt, angry and broken… I’m going to be sorting out therapy as I can no longer cope…  I just feel like I can no longer even trust my own perceptions or feelings. I’m scared of how extremely vulnerable I am. Some days I just want to scream.

“I’m always tired, physically and mentally. Life just feels too much. There is also another massive thing going on at the same time in my life. I’ve had to seek a lawyer. This has taken a huge toll on me, and I just feel like I am not even heard. I’m starting to really shut down cause it’s like I can no longer manage anything… My head and heart are a mess…  Just had enough… Right now, I just feel like I was nothing” –

– You are something. Your feelings matter. You will feel better over time: less hurt, less angry, less broken, less alone, and no longer a mess. Your thinking will get clearer and clearer, you will learn to trust your perceptions and feelings, and you will be able to manage and cope. All these things will happen when you do all that you can do to heal from all that has deeply hurt you in life. Please let me know what other kind of support you need here, on your thread.

anita

• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by .