Hi Zandile

As I read your post, one soul came into my mind, who can assist you. Susan Jeffers. If you can get her book, “feel the fear and do it anyway”, you might find it very useful not only for current circumstances but for future as well.

If I were you, I would only focus on myself. Forget about helping others or giving to others for the moment. Until your battery is fully charged with positive emotions, you wont be able to charge others adequately. You will keep hitting roadblocks and making yourself less happy.

Just learn to provide love and care to your inner being. Life will unfold beautifully for you as my inner self tells me that.

Lots of positive energy coming your way. You are worth it:)

Jasmine

Hey Zandile,

Anxiety sucks, and you certainly sound like you have a lot to deal with right now. I had anxiety attacks a few years ago, and sometimes I still get afraid, though not as bad as I was. When I get to feeling that way, I try to focus on taking care of myself — good food, physical exercise, a regular sleep pattern, time spent doing things I enjoy, and meditation. It’s not a cure-all, but everything gets that much harder when you don’t take care of the basics, you know?

Please don’t feel like you’re doing something wrong because you’re feeling this way. You just have a lot on your plate, and it’s difficult to deal with it all. That happens to a lot of people, just read some of the other posts on this forum. People are in pain, for all kinds of reasons. But people can also build themselves back up, step by step, even when they feel so, so bad.

So take it easy on yourself — you’re having a tough time. Do things that help you, do things that are a little scary when you feel up to them, and understand that these feelings come and go. If you feel really horrible today, tomorrow will probably be a little better. If you feel really good today, maybe tomorrow will be harder. But if you keep building, and believe in yourself, things will get better and you can pursue your dreams.

I wish you only good days. Good luck.

Hi Zandi please request me on FB its Natalia B Khumalo! Then we will talk from there. Because I have been there, hey I’m still there struggling.

Hi, I completely understand how you feel I to have the exact same issues, I have a book by Dr weeks essential help for your nerves it’s a God send, everything you need to know is in there 🙂 you will get through it try working up to things slowly, I was scared to drive for a while but I took small steps and now I can drive for small periods of time which is a massive achievement, ask yourself why your anxious in the car,what do you think will happen? Then remember all the times you drove before easily, it will help you to see that you can do it when your ready 🙂 it’s not easy I’m not going to lie but you can do it take someone with you if it helps,
Much love x

Hi Zandile,

I understand exactly how you are feeling. I have had cyclic bouts of anxiety (more specifically agoraphobia) for the past ten years and over the past year it has been the worst I have ever had. I also am paralyzed by fear over completing the most simple things, such as driving, traveling short distances, pretty much everything under and including the sun. Somehow I have managed to press on though. I still make it to work everyday and find ways (even miniscule ways) of experiencing joys. For me that has been helpful. Looking at and appreciating the small everyday pleasures of life. We all have them, no matter how terrible a day has been. I’ve found that documenting these things with pictures or in journals is great because you can go back and review everything that has given you pleasure over the past week or month. At first it might seem very difficult because of how lousy and hopeless you might feel. But, eventually something wonderful happens and a switch is flipped in your brain. You start to look on the bright side more and more, and realize that you haven’t been cursed with a terrible disorder that you can’t overcome.
You can!
Our brains are wonderful and terrible things. When we feel fear towards accomplishing everyday tasks, such as driving, it’s not necessarily those tasks that are causing the pain but some deep seeded negativity that we have been fostering unknowingly for years. I’ve done a lot of research over the past year trying to uncover the deep roots of my anxiety issues and I came upon a great article on psycologytoday.com about the five basic fears that we all live by: extinction (death), mutilation (losing a part of our body), loss of autonomy (being paralyzed, imprisoned, smothered), separation (abandonment), ego-death (shame, humiliation, loss of the integrity of self). And if you think about it, it’s true. All of our fears evolve from those five things. The trick is to figure out which fear is paralyzing you and taking steps to overcome those things; not necessarily by treating the symptoms of anxiety, but to stop fighting the symptoms and let them guide you to a place in yourself where they are coming from.
I would definitely recommend talking to a professional who is trained in cognitive and talk therapy to help you overcoming your surface fears and then helping you slay the dragons beneath. Mindful meditation is a great way to relieve the racing thoughts and enjoy the present moments of life, and pay attention to your inner thoughts. Everytime you catch yourself in a negative thought pattern, turn it around to the positive. List all your positive traits and repeat them daily or several times a day. I found that a lot of my anxiety was caused by judging myself way to harshly and berating myself over the most insignificant things.

It takes time to change these things about ourselves. But in the end it is so worth it and you might find that what you are going through now happened for a very good reason!

Peace be with you <3