Btw, regarding my ex boyfriend, I knew that I can’t be together with him in the end. He always said that many times when we’re still together. I just didn’t understand why he shut me down like nothing has happened between us. All I wanted to if he really felt free without me, was just end this well. Talk to me with a nice, calm voice. Or at least speak to me in a good manner. But no. He tried to end up the conversation as soon as possible when I called him the last time. I felt so broken! Didn’t he remember all the things that we have done for this relationship??

Why can he do that? 🙁

Dear Anita,

I did not threat him for real. It was just my expression of being upset because he didn’t text me while he was active in messenger. My threat was not supposed to be taken seriously cos I even said it in a soft tone. I think he was angry because i said that in front of his friend. His ego kicked in that’s why he reacted that way. But let’s say if he said that to me. I would just say “well, sounds I don’t have a choice than replying to your messages then”. I won’t be angry because if he said that in a soft tone, i would not think he is serious in saying such thing. But no. He tok it so far; breaking up with me, while 1 hour ago we were joking around.

The fact that he just wanted to shut me down like that really made me broken. Even if I did a wrong thing, I believed I deserve to be treated better, like maybe being given awarning first. Not suddenly being cut. Then what have we done the past one year for?? It’s not like I was just a regular girl, i was his girlfriend. Previously, he did many mistakes, but i always forgave him!! Many times! And i just made a mistake he didn’t wanna forgive me. This thing sucks.

Oh, btw, last night i dreamed of him…he died. Not only that, i saw how he died. Very tragic and horror . I saw his blood everywhere, he was hit and crushed . I woke up from my dream and got panicked. I cried out loud and i wanted to text him, but I can’t since we don’t text anymore.

What kind of sign is this or what does it mean?

Dear Anita,

I said even if…not that I think I made a mistake by saying i will kill you, because honestly I really didn’t wanna kill anyone in tje world. I knew what my intention was. And I knew that I was not sounding like i threat him. I said “if he saw it as a mistake”, then I guess I still deserved to be treated better than “fuck off, i hate you, bitch!” kind of phrases. Because back then when he made many mistakes, I never said rude things. I just cried and forgave him. So why he can’t forgive me for my mistake if he saw it a mistake?

Dear anita,

Thanks for always responding. I think what i did was not equal to what he did to me the whole times. He was rude every time we picked fights. He also didn’t want to care about my feeling although I already told him if he made me sad. I only said “i will kill you” in a not serious manner and it was not me being so furious, i kept my voice soft indicating its only an expression.

Trust me, in our relationship, I think I always forgave him no matter how big his mistake was. And what I wanted you to understand is that I believed he only wanted to push me away because he was ashamed of his friend! Not because my wrongdoing was unacceptable. Anyway, whether you still agreed that I was the one to blame here, I just want someone to understand that I did become a good girl the whole time, and he behaved that way just because he wanted to be free from me and because of his parents too..all I wanna understand is why he could do the cutting right away even 1 hour before we were laughing together in a video call and joking around!

His quick change of behavior was the one that I never forget. I just need to spit everything out here to reduce my heavy emotional baggage.

Anita, thanks again for your time to reply. I really appreciate that!

I know that as human being, we all make mistakes. That’s why I always tried to forgive him. Maybe for you I was making a big mistake that’s why he pulled away. But as someone who could make neutral opinion, what do you think about his behavior when we were still together?

1. He always called me by names when he was angry; I never did when i was angry.

2. He always said rude things to me when ww picked fights, like “yeah, go to hell and don’t come back”, that’s where you from.

3. He liked to play video games and spent moat of his time playing rather than talking to me even for 30 mins.

4. He always followed new girls on his social media although sometimes i told him what I felt when he did that. If they’re from school or people he knew, I don’t have problems, but most of the times it’s random girls who followed him.

I knew all of these questions didn’t change my situation, but I wanted to know others’ perspective.

Waiting for anyone to respond.

Thank you so much!

Love,

Magic