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I feel completely lost.

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  • This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by Anonymous.
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #125853
    Jupiter
    Participant

    Hi Dude, yes life is harder for us HSPs, but it can be awesome. What jumps out at me is your thinking patterns – saying you have wasted the last 10 years of your life- that’s a big burden to carry. So you were expecting that at 16, you would have been productively settled in a fulfilling life that needed no changing? You are still very young. Take your life in smaller bits. You have a girlfriend, great. You have interests, that’s wonderful (some people really do not!). You struggle with energy, so self-care is important. Chronic fatigue can be the cause and result of depression. Depression is a crisis of the soul. So fill your soul. Volunteer with animals for a while – see how it feels. I worked at a cat rescue and it was wonderful. Just a few hours every week. Changed my life, honestly. If you like it – great! You will meet people – you can investigate other jobs with animals – being a vet tech, etc. I’m sorry to say, but at 46, I have learned that you must work to survive. There is no escaping that, but you can find something that fits. I am a counselor for children. It works well for me and pays enough that I can live and enjoy the modest things that I like (taking care of my daughter, owning a home in the woods, raising show chickens, having 3 cats, etc). Read Ekhart Tolle. Take the next right step forward, in 10 minute increments each day. Say to yourself “This step before me” and “Thank you god for showing me my path” – over and over until you have the energy to do one thing – brush your teeth, then the next, etc. Set out a time to brood in advance but until then, stay in some motion, even if it is like a sloth. When I am on the computer like this, I am returning texts to friends, getting up to wipe the counters of the kitchen, drinking coffee, and have the next step planned out. If you know that you are already enough, a fully formed human that is allowed to enjoy life – allowed to seek your joy – you can rest inside a bit. Your girlfriend will only panic if you give up on yourself. That she cannot fix. And you cannot give to others what you do not have yourself. So fill yourself with something, so you can give her some gift from your heart. A few minutes of undivided attention. A joke and a laugh together. A cup of coffee you made for her. Play with her hair for 5 minutes. This will fill her with joy and yourself also. Then announce your intention – I’m going to __ now and don’t let her persuade you to skip that (unless you have prior plans together). She will admire your self-direction. Make a joke of looking at the want-ads. I have worked in so many different types of jobs! Been a dishwasher at a hipster italian restaurant and partied to the late hours. Been a bartender. Been a probation officer. Child counselor. Dog walker. Boyfriend propper-upper. They were all me and not me at the same time. We play roles until we find the one that takes the least effort and we want to keep exploring. At 26 it would be sad indeed if you were at your last role, go to a bar or coffee shop and talk to 46 year old guys who have never changed course, and you will be glad of your discontent and seeking heart. Your life will have the beauty of many discoveries and please change and grow along with them along the way.

    #125878
    Hana L
    Participant

    Hello Dude,

    I have experienced similar things to what you are/have been feeling.

    I’m introverted, single, doing locum work (i.e. no job stability yet) while still attempting to break into a more specialized field of my chosen profession.

    And I have accepted that some people have to struggle more to achieve what they want (myself personally).

    Since you love nature and animals you could try volunteering at a nature park/animal shelter as Missme has suggested. Sometimes a job could come from there. I’ve personally done voluntary work experience in the specialised field (people have told me I was stupid to work for free, but what I learnt gave me a bigger picture of my chosen work field) and as a result have been able to experience locuming in that field.

    I trust your previous work experiences will make you develop attributes which will benefit you for the future. My previous work had been in retail for a few years, it made it easier for the introverted me to converse with other people.

    With the current world we are living in, we do have to work for some financial stability – to me I see that financial stability as a way for me to provide for my future family, for my future retirement, for any sudden emergencies. (Slow progress, but still progress nonetheless.)

    I started a gratitude journal 2 years ago to help me put things into perspective, and like many others before me, I agree that there are always things to be thankful for, however small. I also collect motivational quotes, and listen to motivational songs to boost up my motivation when I hit a slump. I also try find something to laugh at even though I face stressful times.

    It’s okay that you feel completely lost, so do I, and I think most people will ask that question about what life means to them at some stage in their lives. Maybe it might be a good thing that you’re soul searching now in your 20s, instead of feeling lost when you’re in your 80s?

    Anyway I hope my post hasn’t sounded offensive or anything like that, just my two cents.

    Hana

    #125882
    Max Bye
    Participant

    Missme dropped some fantastic advice.
    The only thing I would add is the moment I really started enjoying myself (I did small stint of really meaningful volunteer work) and was happy, working out regularly and totally broke – the job landed that now makes me genuinely happy.
    I hated looking for jobs. But I would write a schedule that forced me to apply to two a day before treating myself to a large coffee in the park. (Side note writing “Spend an hour in the park” when you’re unemployed feels really weird but scheduling really helped me). I was really hesitant about using a company that looks for jobs on my behalf but I would highly recommend it – even though the jobs they sent to me weren’t quite right, they personally told me my CV could be dramatically improved, that my cover letter approach could be improved with XYZ and interviewing for companies that I didn’t want to work for gave me tremendous confidence and experience when I went for an interview for the company that I did want to work for.
    Good luck bud!

    #125888
    Manii
    Participant

    Hi Dude,

    What everyone else said is great advice that has helped me get through things similar to what you are experiencing so I completely vouch for it (volunteering to a cause, taking it one day at time, practicing self-love). Just to add a small thing, you might want to try a creative hobby to give yourself a way to express your feelings. Whether it’s writing a page everyday, an art project or photography, it might help you figure out which path you want to take in life or it may just make your days a bit brighter.

    Stay strong!

    #125889
    TriangleSun
    Participant

    How about taking some programming courses and starting a new career as a programmer? The job is low stress and very rewarding and stimulating.

    If you love nature, you could also think about anthropology, geology, archaeology, environmental engineering fields.

    There are also a lot of schools nowadays offering Adventure Leadership courses. You basically becomes a trained guide and take up clients on hikes and climbs. I know a guy who’s in this program now and it’s really the coolest thing ever.

    Lots of things to experiment with here. Just do some research.

    #146405
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Just re-reading this. Your comment was really well thought out and offers a good perspective.

    Thank you.

    As a HSP, how do you find being a counsellor? I am looking to start a course, but worry I will struggle with handling people’s emotions…

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