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I don't want to fall into depression

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • October 16, 2016 at 11:05 am #118317
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear bibilusi:

    One thing you can do is to keep your thread here going, post here again and again. I, for one, will always reply to a post you add to here (for as long as I have internet and power, which I lose when storms take place). This is cost free to you, for as long as you maintain internet.

    It is understandable to me, that you feel depressed and distressed, frustrated and angry and feeling like going mad- as humans, we are social beings that need connections, back and forth interactions with other people. We need empathy and comfort from others in order to endure life’s stresses. It is natural.

    To not lose your long distance boyfriend, do not turn against him in your despair. Share with him how you feel but without blaming him and taking your frustration out against him.

    What are your plans regarding your long distance boyfriend; when is the relationship to become very short-distance?

    You wrote: “I basically lost the few friends that I had; they didn’t treat me correctly and don’t speak to me anymore.” What was incorrect about the way they treated you and why don’t they speak to you anymore?

    anita

    October 16, 2016 at 12:02 pm #118321
    Bianca
    Participant

    Hi Anita!

    Thank you so much for taking your time to read my problem and reply. Regarding to my boyfriend, both of us are in the last year of college so the plan was to move in together in my country when we finish but there is nothing sure about that… for some months we pass through a difficult crisis so I try to not make so many plans because I don’t know what will happen with us.

    Regarding to my friends, my best friend was in love with a guy but unfortunately he felt in love with me. I told him that I love my boyfriend and I don’t feel anything for him but my best friend got paranoid and jelous and she prohibited us to talk. The guy got upset and he stopped talking with her so because I was feeling guilty (even though I didn’t do anything with him) I spoke with him with to try to reconcile them. I was afraid to tell her that we spoke because she is so paranoid that I thought that she will again think bad. I don’t know how, she discovered that we spoke and as you can imagine she thought bad.She doesn’t want to see me, I wrote to her an email explaining the situation but she simply doesn’t belive me. Because of that she started to invent things about me and she turned everyone against me so nowadays no one wants to speak with me. They deleted me from the social medias and even though I try to defend myself it is useless. I know that it wasn’t correct hiding her the truth but the way how she behaved is just not fair because I just wanted to help. I love my boyfriend and I would never do anything bad to him. For me this situation is just typically for teenagers…I expected another reaction from someone who is 24. She just throw away 10 years of friendship even though during all this years I was loyal to her.

    This is my story with my friends. Thank you again for your time Anita :)It feels a little bit better to vent my sorrows with someone.

    October 16, 2016 at 12:37 pm #118325
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear bibilusi:

    You don’t know if there is a future with your boyfriend and your girlfriend turned everyone against you because her boyfriend fell in love with you and she believed you encouraged it.

    Are there new people you can connect with, where you live?

    (Be back in hours from now).

    anita

    October 17, 2016 at 4:35 am #118350
    Bianca
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I’m quite a shy person so for me it’s difficult to connect with new people. I still go to the university so I’m trying to speak a little bit more with some people from my class that I already know. They already have their own group so I don’t know how to connect with them without looking desperate or tiresome…

    October 17, 2016 at 5:06 am #118351
    Laban
    Participant

    BILILUSI.Dont beat yourself up for not having friends for now and dont force yourself to others.A good friend will pop up but dont be so introvert.Go out there and expose yourself especially with outdoor activities. Dont lock yourself in doors or over think of finding new friends.Listen to music as much as possible,walk,watch movies,treat yourself with nice things.

    October 17, 2016 at 10:53 am #118357
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Bianca:

    About making new friends, you wrote: ” I don’t know how to connect with them without looking desperate or tiresome…”

    You can reach out to a person, initiate a get together with that person (for lunch, let’s say) without looking desperate or tiresome. You can initiate a get together appearing strong.

    Your need to get together with a person, to make a friend, is not a sign of weakness but a sign that you are, indeed human, and all humans need to connect. So it is possible to initiate such while appearing strong. Lots of people do that and succeed.

    If you’d like to try such initiating a connection while appearing strong, you can practice here- make up what you would say to a person and in what circumstance: prepare as you visualize and “hear” such an exchange. And I can give you my feedback, if you’d like.

    anita

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