Hello everyone,

I am writing to you all because I am kind of desperate in my current situation and I  really need some advice from you.

I have been in a relationship for the past two years and three months with a girl. I am 23 years old, she is 22. I would not say that everything has been perfect. Not at all. But the mental and physical connection between the two of us has been something I have never experienced before. She knows everything about me and I have not been afraid of showing all the sides of me, because i was convinced that she would still like me at the end. She has had some difficulties opening up, since she had not had any relationship prior to ours (which is something she has struggled a lot with in these two years). We met each other the last weeks before pandemic and never stopped being together ever since. We have been each other’s support system since we met and I was usually the more chill in the relationship.

Now she is going away for university (it’s a 3-hour bus ride) and everything seemed to change in her attitude in just a few weeks. After not getting enough attention from her for days, I confronted her about this and she said that she cannot give me what I need right now. She said she does not feel the same way as before as she is not feeling the same emotional connection, she feels empty and wants to focus on her new life in the new city. She also said that she is not thinking of anything, let alone about our relationship. On the other hand she said that she loves me, but she would like for me to have less expectations about our relationship since she is not able to give me what I need.

I told her that I love her and I do not think that our relationship is doomed yet and she agreed with me. But when I asked what “what should we do then?” she said she does not know. I proposed a break, a period of around 3-4 weeks without communicating with each other but she said that she wants to talk to me and does not like the idea. Now we have given each other a week to think about what we should do. But in the meantime we are still texting, even if I am not getting any love (the only way I can say she is thinking about me is that sometimes she double text, even if I have not yet replied). This situation is very frustrating for me, as I do not know how to behave. I feel in a limbo. I have been crying all day because I want to tell her so many things but I am restraining myself in order not to feel needy or to pressure her, hence drawing her further away. The week of reflection ends in two days and I have no idea what to do after. Should I let her go, even if this breaks my heart? Or should I hold on, letting her decide and adjust to her new life away?

Thank you in advance. I hope some kind soul will reply to me.

Have a good day,