Dear poker:

I read your post and understand your craving and desire. How do other young  men/ teenagers in the school you attend deal with this craving?

I wonder if you talked about this with young men your age.

I hope to read more from you when I return to the computer  in about fifteen hours.

anita

Dear Yoker:

I apologize for my mistyping of your name, and thank you for correcting me.

A little summary of what you shared: you are a 17 year old teenager, a Muslim, Egyptian living in Egypt, attending a military all-boys school. Egypt is 65% Muslim and the religion prohibits sex before marriage. As a child you and your female cousin slept together regularly until you were 12 or 14 without warning, that is, you weren’t  prepared for the change. You feel lonely during the night but also during the day, “I feel empty inside… like something’s missing… like I lost something very Valuable…it makes me sad all the time “. You wrote that there is something “so extraordinary about having  someone (opposite gender) by your side”

You long for physical closeness with a girl of your age. Question to you so I can understand better: it was four or three years ago that the sleeping arrangement with your cousin was cancelled. Did you feel this sad and empty ever since, 3-4 years at this point, or did the sadness and craving increase lately?

anita

Dear Yoker:

You probably know that the need for affection, physical and otherwise is a natural need, all humans need that. Other social animals do  as well.

Plus there  is that sexual need young men and women feel at puberty, the need for affection and sexual interactions with other people.

Regardless of religion and country of origin, these  needs are natural to all  humans.

If your religion allows it  only after marriage, and you  want to behave according to your religion and/ or according to your family values and  instructions, guided by the religion, then you will wait until marriage before having this physical need met, affection and sex.

Best you can do, acting in accordance to the religion/ values your family believes in, is make sure to choose a wife who you appreciate  and value and who  will appreciate  and value you, the two of you trusting each other and  worthy of each other’s trust, kind  to  each other, patient and respectful, not aggressive. Then you can enjoy affection and sex for decades to come.

anita