I think there are a few things you might want to think about with this one..

Are you sure about your feelings? Are they based upon who you really believe your friend to be? Do you strictly speaking know this person authentically? It’s one thing for someone to share their hopes and fears with you, but quite another thing to say that you really know them.

Do the two of you share the same goals or interests or was this friendship connection something that emerged due to the nature of your conversations? Are the two of you really aligned, as it were? It sounds as though she is on a new course, but probably very grateful for your ear and thoughts over the time you’ve spent together. Whether that’s an authentic line for her or not is really for her to decide, and possibly for you to have to accept, regardless of whether that potentially genuinely brings you two together or forces you to diverge even more. It’s possible, however much you might not want to think of it like this, that the two of you have served your mutual purpose and it’s time to move on. If this is the case I would be happy for her and the time you spent together, take any joy and learning from it, look inwardly at yourself and see how you might better serve your inner self, to make yourself happy on your own path. That being said, if you do genuinely have these big feelings then as it stands I can’t think that it would hurt to express them to her in an open and honest way (it’s important that you are honest with her and yourself). This way you won’t give yourself something to look back on with any regret – your heart will have been expressed, and she will (maybe gratefully!) in turn have the chance to reciprocate those feelings or at least explain why she can’t or why she isn’t interested – this latter will hurt but it will also give your heart some closure and allow you to get on with your life in a way which is free from those feelings of longing.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by Gavin.

daydreamer91, you have my sympathies hehe.. I know this feeling very well from past experience. In fact I think it’s fair to say (even with great humility) that I’ve experienced almost every single kind of emotional bereavement possible.. For what it’s worth I do think that your best foot forwards will be to try and spend more time focussing upon yourself. I’m assuming that since you’re here speaking in this site in particular that you have some measure of interest in Buddhism, or at the very least might be inquisitive about Buddhist principles? At this point you’d probably run into someone who might just blankly state “forget her” but its’s not that easy is it.. SO, instead of just leaving things in the air, the specific advice I would offer you my friend is to fix your mind in the present; try all you can to notice all the little bits of beauty all around you – things that you might find funny or interesting. Distract your mind with the present, safe in the knowledge that the past is unchangeable and the future unknowable. Worry about neither, and find the things that give you joy and help you to rehabilitate your feelings towards other ladies 🙂 Best of luck and do keep in touch! I almost feel a sense of responsibility now myself hehe!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by Gavin.
• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by Gavin.

Don’t we all? hehe.. Well, quite a few of us do. Don’t worry bud.. when the time is right, as they say, there will come an imperceptible shift in the fabric of your life – when you’re at peace with yourself and feeling as content as you can, as a single, independent, free-thinking person. It’s at times like that when magic often weaves itself into your life. True to form, I’m still waiting along with you, but it’s for certain that the best way to go through life is with inner contentment, since as much as your foundation needs to be strong with Tai-Chi, so too it is with your inner self. When confidence resides in your core and you are being your authentic self, your resolve in believing in that (minus your ego) is pretty much as good as your personal strength gets! Go get life buddy! Good luck 🙂