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I can't get past the pain

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • October 18, 2013 at 5:52 am #43979
    Helpful Angel
    Participant

    Hello,

    My suggestion is that you need to write a list of things you want to improve on. Only then will you find the answer to problems. It is a lot about rebuilding self-esteem and positive thoughts. Self-improvement is key to success in your life!

    1/ You are afraid of losing him forever..it is normal and so you are looking for a way of getting him back as quickly as possible, which is normal. You care for him and he obviously cares for you. Only the two of you can decide whether your love for each other is big enough to keep fighting and stay together. Make sure you do everything in your power to feel better about yourself and keep negative thoughts out of the way!

    2/ Don’t hesitate to talk to your mum or siblings you can talk to about this as it might help seeing things clearly and usually helps resolve a situation quicker than expected. Life does work in mysterious ways..I know that it is a confusing time for you but keep your positive goal in mind!

    3/ My suggestion is also to enrol in a yoga class and work on yourself to rebuild self-confidence and inner peace. Nobody can say anything about that!

    Best of luck and listen to what your heart tells you!

    Hope this helps!

    October 18, 2013 at 6:03 am #43980
    Helpful Angel
    Participant

    Hello,

    My suggestion is that you need to write a list of things you want to improve on. Only then will you find the answer to problems. It is a lot about rebuilding self-esteem and positive thoughts. Self-improvement is key to success in your life!

    1/ You are afraid of losing him forever..it is normal and so you are looking for a way of getting him back as quickly as possible, which is normal. You care for him and he obviously cares for you. Only the two of you can decide whether your love for each other is big enough to keep fighting and stay together. Make sure you do everything in your power to feel better about yourself and keep negative thoughts out of the way!

    2/ Don’t hesitate to talk to your mum or siblings you can talk to about this as it might help seeing things clearly and usually helps resolve a situation quicker than expected. Life does work in mysterious ways..I know that it is a confusing time for you but keep your positive goal in mind!

    3/ It’s a great idea to enrol in a yoga class and work on yourself to rebuild self-confidence and inner peace.

    Best of luck and listen to what your heart tells you!

    Hope this helps!

    October 21, 2013 at 9:28 am #44070
    Shelli
    Participant

    Hi,

    I was recently just left by my boyfriend of 3 years (living together for 2.5 years) and he has cut all contact with me. He had an apt already lined up without me knowing and said he had lost the flame for me some time ago (several months). He walked out that night three weeks ago and hasn’t looked back. I was blindsided, but now have to think why didn’t I see/respond to the warning sings. Blind love, ignorance, fantasizing of a future we had once talked about, all those things are what caused me to stay when it was obviously over for him long ago. We moved to this place to start his (our) gym, as he is a trainer, and I financially supported us through it all, up until he left. I feel used and discarded. Through our ups and downs I had never thought of leaving or that our love wouldn’t last. It hurts more than anything I’ve experienced and I can’t offer much advice, different from what we read on here or any other helpful sites. I can just say you are not alone. The pain and confusion is ever present each day. Focusing on work and keeping healthy is hard right now, some moments I feel okay and empowered and then the next hour I want to cry a river. I know I can’t let him control my emotions and my happiness. Letting go is hard. Here’s to us finding inner peace and love within ourselves 🙂

    October 21, 2013 at 10:19 am #44071
    Jen
    Participant

    Hi Shelli,

    I’m sorry that he handled it the way he did. He took the easy and chicken way out by not confronting you and telling you how he felt. I know how it feels to hurt every day. I know how it feels to be totally fine and in control one second and then to feel as if it’s just happened all over again the very next. I am trying so hard to understand what happened myself and to feel as tho I am ok and I am not. I’ve decided to go talk to a therapist, partly because I just cant seem to get over it and partly because I think getting objective responses to my posts on sites like this is helpful. The other reason is that part of my breakup was because I have some unresolved issues that I was subconsciously taking out on him and I never want to do that again to anyone I love. I just wish he’d told me before he left me.The thing is that on these sites if you post the full story no one will read them and your left still hurting and feeling alone. I was the same way as you it sounds. I’m the type who will fight for someone i love and stick through almost anything to be with them. But at the end of the day I hope I can believe myself when I say that any man who would walk away from a woman who would give her heart and soul to him or for him is an utter fool and we deserve better. I don’t feel like i’ll find anyone better necessarily now or ever but there must be someone out there who isn’t going to break my heart into glass dust. Thank you and Helpful Angel for your answers because just knowing that someone else out there has heard and understands the sheer and utter sadness that is left behind after a breakup makes it feel so much less lonely. <3

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