Hi BellyButton,

I can see why you’re still upset.

Maybe he got nervous about being in the relationship, or maybe the timing was bad. Or his history said he was not worthy. Etc. Then, given some time missing you, his feelings for you overcame the other thoughts or feelings, which may have been subconscious. His rudeness could have been the conflict showing.

Some questions:

How rude was he?

How does he handle pressure or a crisis? Have you seen him in other scenarios?

Can you forgive him?

Have you been able to forgive yourself in your life?

Advice: have a talk, uncomfortable as it will be, without drinking. Just a calm talk.

Big blue

Belly Button,

While it is understandable to hold onto grudges, it is not healthy, especially for the grudge-holder. You don’t want to hold that against him at convenient times. Just know that it probably wasn’t personal, if you love this guy, if you feel he has a good heart, then you should try to understand that maybe it was a defense mechanism. I know I tend to be more distant and cold if I feel like pushing people away without having to say so explicitly. Sure, it can be a bit childish or immature, but there are people out there who aren’t good at communicating these messages. You can try to do a burning session and absolve yourself of any negative feelings and strive for positive ones. Stop bringing it up in fights, it will not serve any of you. You will be much happier if you put it past you, because after all, you are back with this guy, give both of yourself some slack. Best of luck on your journey of forgiveness, it takes a strong person to forgive. Be gentle with yourself and also forgive yourself too. 🙂