Dear eirini,

I totally understand you as I face quite the same situations these days. You can see my story here: http://dev.tinybuddha.com/topic/my-ex-returned-when-i-started-being-happy-again/#post-146135

I had to end it, because of exactly as you said it: ‘i wanted to take care him , but i don’t wan to be with him , i love him so much but i don’t want him’

I still ove him and I do care, but the times he makes me cry and struggle are more that the times he makes me laugh.

It is the hardest thing, knowing a decision you make creates sadness to 2 people – him and yourself. I also feel miserable and in pieces these days. If though you read my story, you will see that I had managed after a long time, to feel happy again and relieved. So, there is hope believe me; after some time you will find yourself again and you will understand yourself and your needs better. It sounds selfish but is the only way to go forward on this life.

Keeping regular contact with him, as I used to do for almost 2 years after first break up, was after all a bad decision. It only makes the pain to keep more and does not allow to see clearly and from distance the situation. If you still talk, even if it seems completely awful to stop it, I think is the hardest but the best way to go. If you are meant to be together again, you will need this time to stay apart and distant to rebuild yourselves. I did not do it – my mistake – and led to more years of pain and frustration until I decided to cut contact in the end.

It will take time, I know, but I also know that good things are ahead. And after the pain, the good things will remain from this relationship.

I really wish you (and me!) courage and strength!