I have been seeing someone since October, we officially started dating in October. About 2 months ago, my ex– my first love, dated for 3 years etc– reappeared and told me all of the right things. In my heart, I know my new boyfriend is it for me, and he used to feel the same. We were falling in love, and when my ex appeared, I questioned everything. He said all of the right things and I was tempted to try again. I talked to him all of the time, withdrew from my boyfriend and became mean and cold to him. I looked for reasons why we wouldn’t work so I could make the choice between them easier on myself. For 2 months I broke his heart and he stayed to try and work through it.

Well, he finally broke and ended things with me. I realized what I had done and cut my ex out (he won’t ever change). I am being affectionate and working on gaining his trust back… but what if that isn’t possible?

He says he doesn’t know if he can get those feelings back and he doesn’t know if he can ever feel the same. He doesn’t have the desire to put a lot of effort in. And i understand that… he put so much effort to keep us alive while I was deciding and now the scenario has flipped.

I just want him to know that this was not an end all, and I know it takes time, and i wish there was a way to convey to him it is worth it.

Trust is so hard to bring back, especially after I have killed it. But I know it is worth it. I am trying not to push him to just be with me…. But i feel like he needs to decide to completely be in it or not for us to push through all of this.

This would be my biggest regret… he’s everything I have ever wanted in a partner and I will forever regret that I almost let it slip away.