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I am worried that my partner and I want different things

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  • This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • April 13, 2020 at 1:17 pm #349238
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jane:

    “he tells me that he is guaranteeing me a ‘lifetime of happiness’ by living on the farm with him”- he can’t guarantee that, no one can, not for oneself and not for someone else.

    Your partner is very passionate and unreasonable: his above guarantee is unreasonable, and not considering what you want as he plans a lifetime for the two of you is also unreasonable.

    * I don’t think that you can or should travel anytime soon, not during a pandemic, not before Covid-19 is contained!

    I suggest that you tell your partner that he is unreasonable, for the two things I just mentioned, and listen to his response. I will be glad to read further from you and reply again.

    anita

    April 14, 2020 at 11:42 am #349396
    shubham
    Participant

    Hello Jane,

    I read your article and looks like that you are stuck not because of your bf but because of the choices that he made. Well he is pretty selfish about his dream. Ok let’s imagine that you are going and pursuing what you really want in life but I want you to ask a question by yourself that “do you really think that after that your relationship will be as good as today ?” if yes then you can leave after the lockdown ends but if no then let’s jump to the another question “can you put your relationship on the stack for your career ?” again if yes then I think there is no confusion and if no then I want you to find a way on that both of you can agree upon. It’s hard and irritating but believe me its the only way. Both of you have to sacrifice something to be together because love is less about me its more we. Its not about 50-50 partnership its about 100-100 partnership. Jane I know that you are dealing with a very critical problem but believe me no problem in the world comes without the solution, you just have to take another and different look to the problem. I’m not suggesting you to go or to stay it’s totally your call but I just want to make a point here is that “The choices of make today will definitely show their consequences tomorrow.”

    Hope you find your way.

    Thank you

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