Hi. I am back here and I think the last time I posted something was a year ago, while I was separating from my wife. 2018 was so horrible that I didn’t think I would survive, but not only did I survive, I made the best of it and had the best year I had in a long time. No self pity, no dwelling, no nothing, just hard work. I lost A LOT of weight and worked hard and hiked a lot and traveled a bit, and lots of other good things happened. I am almost done with the divorce and we are on good terms. More or less things are OK. I am happy and I am continuing my weight loss and life-rebuilding process….

Now the sad part = )))

I am 41 and all of my friends are married and with kids. I was never really into the whole nuclear family thing and I am not too traditional, but all I ever wanted was my own family. We didn’t have kids and I am feeling that it’s over for me in that department. Not because of my age, but because after such a long time I have to start dating again and I just can’t do it. I am not interested in anyone. I am not even attracted or curious about anyone. Not in real life, not online. I feel nothing towards women and it’s not hate or resentment or blaming all women for my ex’s attitude and the breaking up of our family. It’s that I simply I don’t trust women. I am not saying women are bad or anything like that, I am saying that I don’t trust women. Yes, I am Red-Pilled, and MGTOW, and god knows what else, but I am not here for a lecture. I am 100% clear on what everything means and how things work in the real world. Hypergamy is real, whether you like it or not, facts are facts. I know there are bad men and good men, bad women and good women, I am talking about me now. Since I don’t date men, I have to deal with women’s issues. And as I get older I see that I and so many men, yes men, are giving up on love because women no longer need men. Again, I am not here for a lecture so please keep that to yourself, but I am upset and kind of sad that because of this “I am woman, hear me roar” mentality, that the family unit is dead. Women no longer want that. Yes, some do and some don’t, but since I am 41 and I would date someone within 10 years, up or down, and the pool of shrinking and time is running out. It’s very frustrating. My point is that I want to meet someone. I want to start dating, but living in LA, LOL, it’s a joke. I am good looking, almost back in shape, I take care of my self, dress well, very clean and good hygiene, I drive an Audi and work in IT for a Media company, I make decent money. But’s not enough for women in LA. On dating sites they seek the “6s”….. Six figure income? Check. Six inch d$ck? Check. Six bedroom house? Sorry, no house. Oh Ok, then not good enough. I see a therapist monthly and she didn’t believe me so I took screenshots of things that women are looking for and showed it to her. She was shocked. There is no way I can or will check all the boxes. It’s sad because these women are going to end up with many cats, sad and lonely. And I will end up alone, but I won’t sad, I’ll be disappointed, but men handle single life better than women, fact. I’ll be fine, but I would rather have a family with someone who is strong, modern, independent, curious, but also somewhat traditional when it comes to love and family. Yeah, yeah, I am damn romantic. I guess I am, but I would rather be than be part of “Tinder Culture”. Sorry for the rant, but not reeeeally sorry. I am curious if someone will understand my pov or like most times, will criticize me and tell me that I have to change something or it’s somehow my fault or some other nonsense. Please, I’ve taken enough shaming. I am here for some logic and smart words put together to make my brain go “OOOOOH I get it !!!”

I just want to believe that there are decent women, girls, ladies, females, whatever, left in the world. Kind of like my ex, kind of someone like me, but female. Just regular, down to earth, not looking to find price charming on a white horse. The horse is dead, the prince is sleeping with the court jester, and it’s just me here frustrated because I want to share my life with someone and talk to them and listening to them, but instead I have a feeling I am going to be alone forever. I got my dog and he is my whole life right now, but I wish I had a family. I didn’t have a family when I was growing up. Well, I did, but it was so broken that I would rather say I didn’t, and I am ending up without one right now and possibly forever. In the words of our President #sad

Merci Beaucoup