hello everyone my names is charles im presently 19 years old. I feel the necessity to tell this story because it has kill my mental stability completely for the past two weeks. And yesrerday i was really thinking of dark toughts if you catch what i mean.

so here’s the context, i warn you it is a pretty unique life story to say so. I will begin by saying that i always tought that i was less intelligent than everyone. And example i can give you for this manner is that i only recently learned basic french writing which is my primary language. But this is something that i should have memorized from preschool. I didnt know how to explain it before two weeks ago when i realized that i may have made the worst error of my existence only realizing it 5 years after.

And because it always is, this all started with a girl. A girl who loves the hell out of me when i was in primary school. To this day i still don’t know what she saw in me. I was an embodiment of all the possible human flaws: lack of confidence, low self esteem and respect for my self and i like to think of her like all the qualities that i needed to learn. Like you know in movies where characters help others realize the truth of what to think in life.

I can’t really describe how cool our relationship eas at the time. She was funny, always wanted to do stuff with me and was so excited when i agreed to. We had some of the best moment of my life and looking back at it, i realize that ahe probably was the best relationship i had of all my life well when i compare it to my friends now…

anyways when we both graduated primary school she continued to keep in touch since she was obsessed with me. But i don’t know in the time. I tought that leaving primary school meant leaving all my friends behind. So when she asked me if i wanted to go out sometimes i responded to her really confused, by why she wanted to keep in touch again. Reflecting now into our situation i think that it is the way rhat she acted with me that made me not even considering her as a possible girlfriend choice, since she was very maculine and acted like a real male bro.

now back to the present time when i realized that i let her go. I am now in complete sorrow, i tried recontacting her recently but she didn’t even respond to my third message. And for real i completely understand her for not doing so even tho i really want her back. Im thinking of sending her a last message only to let her know that i want to talk. But one thing is holding me back.

since she hasn’t reaponded to my past texts i am wondering if i shouldnt just skip to the chase and tell her that im sorry. But i dont know if it is really the way to go. I know it’s been 5 years and i would love it to have a casual conversation with her and maybe meeting again in real life. To tell her how sorry i am. But i dont know im’ stuck and i need help. I need you help