Dear Anita,

Yeah the deadlines are stressing me out. I wish I would have spread my work out more evenly but I’m hoping next semester (September) will be much better- I hope I’ve learned.

“when you listen to someone else, you get a break from hearing the unwelcomed voices in your own head:  the mental chatter, the monkey mind I mentioned before. It’s peaceful to get a break from it!” Never thought of it this way! But it makes sense.

“You have what it takes, Lea. I am proud of you, I am impressed by you. You are amazing!” I had tears in my eyes reading this. I’ll say my weekly thank you today. Thank you Anita- this was a really wonderful thing to read. I will remember this. I hope your day is wonderful and I’ll probably do an update post later!

sincerely, lea

Dear Anita:

I’ve written 4 essays so far, and I have 2-3 more to get through today. For part of my subject I had to watch a 2hr movie- which I couldn’t even speed up. The movie was good though- but now I have to write a few essays on it. I did pretty well on my focus today about 7hrs of total focus according to my pomodoro timer. My teacher keeps emailing me asking if I’ll finish my subject by June 21st. It’s annoying me because I’ve been trying so hard and he keeps doubting me but- what can ya do. I’m determined to prove this teacher wrong and get it all done by the end of the week. I don’t think I’ve ever been so certain that I’ll get something done. I’m very stressed- I need a shower, my face is covered in stress pimples because I haven’t been doing my skin care routine- my animals have had the bare necessities- food, water, basic pets and hugs, bug spray and pen cleaning. But no walks or longer than an hour a day with them. I do not plan for all nighters- I will get some sleep but tonight will be a later night (early night??) for sure. I also have a final exam on Monday- I’m stressed- no doubt about it. But I’m ready to just get it done. The pressure is keeping me going- but In terms of my job I only have one small work call on Thursday- and I work next Monday again. I don’t have to work any long hours- so more time for school. I’ll keep you updated, I hope you are well.

sincerely, Lea

Dear Lea:

Congrats for writing 4 essays so far and for doing so well on your focus today, 7 hours of it- impressive!

Please take 1-2 showers a day, it will lower your stress level. And it’s okay to spend no longer than an hour a day with your animals until the 21st : that they are getting the bare necessities, so they are not hungry or thirsty or living in dirt and bothered by bugs, plus they do get some basic pets and hugs: Hugs & No Bugs sounds good to me!

Stress will help you study more and better, but too much stress will not, so keep it down best you can. When you feel your stress level is too high.. go take a shower, give one of your animals an extra hug, and such.

I am rooting for you!

anita

Dear Anita:

I appreciate all of your kind words. To know that you are rooting for me is such a comfort and it feels really nice to have someone in my corner.

Sincerely, Lea

Dear Anita:

I smiled so big when you posted this. I had one thing I wanted to ask you and a few things to say. One, I feel pretty in control of my studies today and it’s quite grounding. I haven’t been as productive today unfortunately but I’m not angry or upset about it. My productivity tends to increase as the day goes on.

A little while ago you wrote in a post- after I apologized to you for posting so much: “ I don’t know if an apology is required because I’ve been learning from reading your posts. It may be a lot of work sometimes but it benefits me.” I’ve been really curious- what have you been learning and how does sharing my life and stuff benefit you? I don’t mean to sound aggressive or anything I’m just genuinely curious.
Once again, anita I really appreciate all of the kindness and it’s a comfort to know that you’re cheering me on. I hope your evening is amazing.

sincerely, Lea

Oh my gosh Anita.
You made my entire day just from reading this post. I out loud said “oh my gosh!!” While smiling.
“I can see that your mental health can and is turning around, and that is very encouraging… and the thought that I can make a difference, that’s amazing!”

Anita- how you have made a difference in my life!!! I don’t feel alone! And the constant positive encouragement from you is amazing. It’s so nice to just come here and know I have a safe space to express my feelings. To know that someone- you- is listening makes me so happy.  I am so grateful when you express empathy towards me and my situation- the empathy that I have longed for all my life!!!

“To see how you have what it takes,“ the fact that you truly believe that I have what it takes makes me believe it more.

I don’t think I told you this before, but when I was in elementary school I had a teacher- One of the best teachers I’ve ever had I’ll remember her forever. She gave me a piece of advice- if you don’t like the page you are on- flip to a new page. If you don’t like that page flip to another one. If you’re in a bad chapter go to the next chapter. You have the power to change- you just have to do. I remember she told me that very day: “ you have what it takes to get through this bad chapter. You have so many gifts you haven’t even discovered them yet” she said this to my face and I was crying. Anita- you remind me of this teacher. The positive encouragement is really awesome.
Here’s a link to a picture of me writing ‘you have what it takes’ inspired by you, on my hand here. 

Have a really wonderful day anita.
Sincerely, Lea

Dear Anita:

N No! I’m ok, the light in my office is really weird and it for some reason looks like I’m bruised. But I’m not. I’m so glad that you’re smiling.

sincerely, Lea