Know that you are not alone. As I was reading your post I felt like you were inside my head and heart. These feelings are universal and plague many so do not beat yourself up over them. Sometimes it’s best to stop thinking and stop focusing on how poorly you may feel and just indulge in whatever it is you instinctually feel like doing at that moment. For me it can be watching an episode of Girls in my bed eating a bag of my favorite chips and allowing my life to just “be” in that moment. Try and remember to give yourself small breaks throughout the day.

I was also unemployed for 8 months and I was depressed and felt like I had zero direction – fast forward three years to present day and I am employed and would be categorized as a “busy” person. BUT those same feelings of being lost and lacking direction are still with me because I have not fully turned inward and I am still seeking direction and happiness from external situations. But at least I am aware of my thoughts and behavior – which is step 1 😉

Just remember that you’re not alone in these feelings and this is your path and it will lead you to wherever you need to be.

Your comment ‘I feel like a big failure’ suggests that you compare yourself to others in your successes and in general. If that is the case: don’t. We all each have our own journeys to tend to therefore there is no reason to compare ours to others’. Your parents were not meant to walk in your shoes and you in theirs, your friends were not meant to either, nor your siblings, your teachers, your neighbor, a fellow shopper at the store, your co-worker, etc… The path you walk is for you alone and you alone to uncover. Realize and accept this to find a great amount of peace within yourself.

Also, I sense that you feel stuck (I apologize if this is obvious). If so, I will tell you what I tell other members who seek advice: explore, experiment and discover. How will you know where to walk if you do not expose yourself to new experiences/philosophies? When lost (physically), we do not simply idly sit and believe an exit will suddenly appear. No, we wander in fear, but with purpose, to find an exit. You, too, must now wander (spiritually, perhaps) and expose yourself to various endeavors to an eventual path.

It is also greatly important to stay open minded in the above mentioned venture. If you think of the foods you enjoy best you will find that you did not simply settle with 2 or 3 items. Indeed, I am sure that you enjoy quite the variety. Additionally, I am sure that you did not come to love some of those food without giving them a few attempts. You must do so similarly in life to ascertain your beliefs.

Understanding that we do not have all the answers nor ever will also helps. Hence, be comfortable with this and let the burden of believing you should ‘have more to currently show in your life’ fall right off your shoulders for it is such a needless burden to carry. 🙂 Understanding this will garner much peace within yourself.

Lastly, here are some of my own creeds that may help you in feeling more wholesome: baby steps in new undertakings are perfectly fine, numerous small acts are just as capable as a few grand gestures and be present (or do your best to be) in even the smallest ventures (ex: washing dishes, ironing, walking through a store, etc…) Applying these views to your life may help you. And remember: the pace does not matter; going slow is better than not moving at all.

Best Regards,
Al