Hello, I can understand the pain you are going through. I left my 8 years beloved chihuahua w my mom while I was out of state and she ran away. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks trying to find her w professional sniff dogs, paid mailers, flyers, walking n stalking the street yet no sight. The pain is intense and I thought about committing suicide to be w my dog but of course I won’t do that. It’s so hard especially when ppl tell me it’s just a dog. She was my daughter, my beloved baby. I’ll give anything to get her back so I can have her age and die in my arms. Unfortunately she probably might have died because the night she disappeared I dreamt she came back to me so I can put neosporin on her wounds and then she threw up blood and I woke up crying. I’ll never get over this. I was bed ridden for 2 weeks. Even w being financially wealthy and having the best friends I can ask for, it means nothing without my dog. I’m in complete devastation and I feel guilty leaving her w my mom. Before she disappeared a few weeks ago, I made her promise me that she will reincarnate as my granddaughter bc I’m trying to conceive a baby and I wanted her to live another 10 years and come back in 20 years. She licked me and it really felt like she agreed to be my granddaughter so I can give her everything I have worked so hard for and for her to enjoy life as a human being w me. I now hope she can come back as my daughter. I’ve had ppl died in my life but her death/ disappearance will forever devastate me. I love her as my own flesh and blood. Anyways- I read that we can grieve but we really must move forward- not move on… but move forward and hold their memories in our heart. I’ve saved her clothes and toys and when I pass, I’ll have them burry with me. Right before she left I finish a 600 photo album of her. I’ll never forget her face and love. To honor her life, I donate to PETA and help out dogs in shelter. I hate being depressed so I’m looking for a new dog to love. It would b a miracle if I ever find her again.