Hi Gigi,

I hope this message finds you you well. I dont know much detail about what issues you are having in your marriage, but I can relate to you in someway. I had/have issues with my husband too but I cannot leave because of my kids. I have been trying hard every day to keep our family going as normal and happy as possible. But deep down, I’m not happy. And I met this person at work. At first, I did not have any intention toward him, but I knew he had a lot attentions on me and he was the one who started the signals by flirting. I’m not a flirting person and I dont really like flirting, and I knew he had lots of attention for me. I tried to avoid that and acted normally and professionally , but I was friendly with him to. I pretended that I did not know he liked me.  We saw each other everyday, we talked , we shared our struggles in our marriage, then feelings started to build up. And I was the one who fell hard. When things got so serious, I meant my feelings for him, he was scared , and we both tried not to make our feelings become deeper. We have been trying to stop and it not end yet. We’ve been on and off, and I’m the one who hurt more because I have fell harder than he has. I know that we both will not leave our marriage. I dont know how deep you have fall for him, but if you can manage it to stop the feelings from growing, you should do it now. Don’t let them grow stronger and deeper, we are women, we tend to love more than men (not everyone) therefore, we get hurt more and easier.  Feel free to reach out to me, I am still in the process of letting go of all the mix feelings I have had for more than a year now, and I feel you, its not that easy and simple.

Hope to hear from you

Take care

Hi Katylee,

I am very sorry to hear your story. I know the pain you carry is unbearable.  I know time will help cure and change things, and its hard to get through too. Don’t be hard on yourself. What we have done (had affair before ending marriage) was wrong, but we are human and we are weak at some point, and plus we loved too much and too deep that we could not realize what we did was wrong ( the heart blindfold the mind) We cannot change the past, but we can make the future differently. And I know its very hard to see the man you have falling turning back on you, but lets take it as a lesson, a mistake that we should never make again. If you have a choice , change your job and try to move on. Or if you are strong enough, face the reality and deal with it. Let the man have his space to absorb  the guilt, maybe time will help him get through too. If you love him truly, give him time. I know its easy said than done, but we have to accept the reality. And if the love from him for you is true too, then I hope you and him will make it work. But most important matter now is try to ease the pain, read other people story to feel that you are not alone, and learn from other people’s stories too. Feel free to reach out if you need some one to talk too

Take care !

Hello Adrienne

I’m sorry you find yourself in such a difficult position. I dont have any advice to offer you surrounding the difficulty you are facing with your religion and children.

I can understand why you feel such a strong connection with this man. Maybe you can stay just as friends, if you do, then be careful. It’s surprising how quickly these situations can spiral and before you know it you’re in love with someone who is not free to be loved and your situation is a whole lot more complicated.

Good luck

I’m glad that you have spoken to your husband about how you’re feeling. I hope that you’re able to work through things and that whatever happens, you will be happy. Good luck for the future