Home→Forums→Relationships→I am afraid I'm not good enough
- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 5 months ago by
Kristina.
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October 18, 2016 at 2:07 pm #118449
SinpaParticipanthello,
I will be very thankfull if you help 🙂
In fact, I am facing to many problems in my life, which I m truely unable to manage.
I will start it slowly…
I am a twenty-one girl, I study industrial engineering in one of the most prestigious schools in my country (It has a connection with what i m going to say :D)
During my childhood, I was a silent kid, I observed more and talked less. I had very few friends and barely talked to strangers.
I had my own world, and I was very satisfied, I needed no one more than the closest person to me.
My two years in CPGE did nothing but worsening my case, still, I was ok with it.
My problems begun when I started my university studies, where I realized how much I am different from other people.
I was faced with an environment that encourages extracurricular activities, entrepreneurship, social intelligence and all kinds of soft skills…Things that I had not.
I progressed during my last year, still I do really not know how should I deal with people I am obliged to work with.
I swear I m a good person, I have always been loved and respected by everyone, but now, everything changed, and I feel as if I m supposed to become a person that I am not, and It’s hurting me, everutime, ’cause I do not know how should I do it, ’cause It’s not me…
I really hope you can help me 🙂
Thank you for readingSinpa
October 19, 2016 at 10:27 am #118496
AnonymousGuestDear Sinpa:
You wrote: ” I feel as if I m supposed to become a person that I am not, and It’s hurting me”
Do you mean that working/ interacting with other people, having conversations with people, initiating with people… getting outside your “own world”- is not the person that you are?
If so, do you remember, as a child, what lead you into your “own world”? I am thinking that as a child you reached out to others, interacting best you could but then, the interactions didn’t work for you and you withdrew into your own world. Was it so?
anita
October 19, 2016 at 3:04 pm #118513SinpaParticipantDear anita,
In fact, leading conversations with others or arguing with them is the thing that I do not feel att ease with.
In the past, I was pretty satisfied with observing others’ talks and keeping my stands for myself.
So, now, since I am obliged to interact, I am not able to make a difference between personal ans professional life.
I take things personaly, which isn’t healthy…moreover, I trust people a lot, I really can not suspect anyone, which ils also a thing that appears to me not healthy neither.Concerning the second point, I say no. I did not experience bad relationships. I am this since my early age…
You know Anita, what I feel now is that people are very different.
Before attending university, I saw life in pink, and did expect nothing bad from anyone, but now, since I got to know people more, I see that the world is far from what I believed it was.It feels good talking to you, thank you for answering.
Best regards.October 19, 2016 at 5:43 pm #118520AnonymousGuestDear Sinpa:
You are studying Industrial Engineering. You also have the opportunity to study people. You wrote that the “world is far from what I believed it was”- well, learn abut the world; learn what it is. You feel that “people are different”- learn how different, what motivates people, what are people like, what is reasonable to expect and from whom.
And as you learn about people and the world you live in, you will also learn how you can be in it, how you can be authentically yourself in the world and how you can have win-win interactions with people.
Take this time, at 21, as the beginning of your people-education. Learn through interacting. Pay attention. Be patient with the process. It will take time. And do post anytime.
anita
October 20, 2016 at 12:01 am #118530SinpaParticipantDear Anita,
I liked your reply a lot.
I will keep that un mind and do my best to apply it 😉Thank you!
October 20, 2016 at 10:11 am #118551AnonymousGuestYou are welcome, Sinpa. Post again, anytime (I will reply).
anitaOctober 20, 2016 at 10:30 am #118553
KristinaParticipantSinpa,
Have you considered / embraced that you may simply be an introvert? At your age, I felt the same way…that I was different or somehow inadequate because I didn’t thrive in environments with lots of external stimuli. I would encourage you to do some research on introversion and learn to embrace that Introverts are awesome and can function very successfully in a world where constant interaction is encouraged.
I am a personal fan of Susan Cain. Her writings / information really help me understand that not being the most “social” being doesn’t make me an outcast.
Self love is the greatest love of all (I’m still working on this myself), and embracing your AWESOME is the first step in success in the journey. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH because YOU set the bar… no one else.
Peace and blessings to you on your journey. We introverts sometimes need to make temporary concessions to function in such a social world, but a wise person must said that introverts are the “creators” of the world because we view it differently.
You’re awesome. Don’t forget that!!
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