Dear mochiyou:

When you wrote that you question whether you should have the baby, being almost in your third trimester, what do you mean? I don’t understand.

Poor you, being in such a difficult situation, my goodness! There got to be a way out of this. First bring yourself to a state of calm the best you can. Maybe adopt ‘the end of the world” line of thinking. I take on this kind of thinking when I am desperate enough: my world may very well be ending as I know it. It is all bad, more than I can handle and there is nothing I can do today. So I am going to let it be (let the job end, let the husband be unhappy, etc.) and I am not going to care today, this moment. I am letting the end happen.

This way you relax into all that you fear.’

Try it?

anita

I don’t blame you one bit for thinking you married the wrong person. In fact I did. My ex was so consumed with making money, he didn’t consider the stress that work put on my pregnant body. Not only are you his wife, but the soon-to-be mother of his child, and you deserve more respect and consideration. He needs to understand this. I would try counseling before you consider anything else

As far as keeping the baby, that is something that nobody can tell you what to do. You may be overcome with love for you child once it is born, or because of your stressful circumstances, may not bond with him/her right away.

Have you considered moving in with you mom? I moved in with my parents after the divorce, having two kids of my own, and not making enough money to support us all. You need a solid support system right now. Being pregnant then having a new born is one of the hardest of life’s challenges. Maybe you could try a support group for pregnant women. I am not encouraging you to leave your husband, I am however, telling you that you have options.

If you do look for another job, be sure and imply to your possible employer that you are familiar with anti-discrimination laws. It is against the law to discriminate against women who are pregnant. Your current employer needs to understand that he/she is putting undue stress on your body, and they could be sued for workers comp if they cause you or the fetus harm. Here is a government link on this matter: https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/pregnancy.cfm

I hope you find some or all of this helpful. You need to empower yourself, and don’t let anyone push you around
Peace to you, my friend

Christin