I always feel disconnected from my friends, does anyone feel the same?

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This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by rosaly.

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June 5, 2015 at 3:29 pm #77772

Barbara
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Hi, amethystt. I’m sorry about you and your friend. I’ve had similar experiences and while some were easy tolet go others were quite painful. I’m sorry you feel lonely. I am prone to feeling like that too sometimes, and those times no matter how much time I spend with my friends I can’t seem to feel content. Of course the reasons for this might be different in your case, but with me I feel the problem is that I feel lonely in my own company.

Then one thing I noticed from your post is that you mention having friends who care about you…and I feel it’s important to ask: do you have friends YOU care for? Do you care about their lives, their problems, etc? Maybe this feeling of not having meaningful connections stems partly from there. After all, connecting is a two way highway. I find that while it’s important for me to feel like my friends care about me it’s equally important for me to take time and get out of my head, focus on them, ask how they are doing because doing so makes me feel connected to them.

Just my two cents. I hope you feel better. Hugs.

June 6, 2015 at 8:54 am #77785

Anonymous
Guest

Dear amethystt:
You wrote about your friend who is no longer your friend: “everything felt right and natural when I was with her.” Did you look back and within yourself and examined WHAT was different with her? What about the relationship with her made it different from your relationships with other friends? What was it about HER behavior and what was it about YOUR behavior with her that made for a better, deeper, stronger connection?

That may help you in figuring out what in others you need and what in you that you need to externalize, express with a friends for a better connection.
anita

June 7, 2015 at 7:15 pm #77833

Kushirona
Participant

Dear our kind ametthyst,

You said that you don’t feel complete when you have a relationship with your friend, do YOU let yourself be content with the relationship you have right now? Sometimes when we are separated with those who are dear to us (maybe in this case is your best friend), we could be unconsciously comparing the happy moments we had in the past with the present moment. Maybe you felt this way? If you are, then try to remind yourself that it is NOT comparable. Every moment is constantly changing and that happiness is created inside. Try to relax and enjoy the very moment you had, because the present is the only time you have. Both past and future is just in our mind..

Have a great present time! 🙂

lots of metta

June 8, 2015 at 1:53 am #77840

Emma K.
Participant

Hi Amethystt,
if you really cherish that friendship with your that good friend that has broke with you, how about trying to connect with her again and apologise to her? Well you may not be in the wrong but sometimes we hurt our friends without knowing it. If I were you, I will try hard to reach out to her to apologise. In the end, she may or may not accept your apology by at least you tried and you know your mind will be at peace knowing that you have tried.

To be honest, I am also in a similiar situation as you, i.e. i have many friends, some close some not so close but i also find it difficult to connect with them, including those that I am closed to. Very often, I find myself nothing to talk about even when I am in an outing with my closed friends. It is weird but this feeling has been with me for many years already and I did not try to find a way to fix it. Hence, I can comprehend the loneliness in you as I do feel very lonely too. Perhaps the way to kill our loneliness is to find some hobbies or interest to kill our time. You may want to find things to do that interest you. As for friends, I have come to realisation that not all friends click with us. If we want to connect with our friends, probably we also need to put in some effort to try to connect with them. It takes two hands to clap. I wish you all the best in seeking out true friends that could connect with you.

Have a lovely day,
Emma

June 8, 2015 at 5:25 am #77851

rosaly
Participant

Hey! Thanks for replying 🙂 I have tried to reach out to her to talk, but unfortunately she did not want to and removed and blocked me from all social platforms and phone. It’s sad because we don’t live close to each other either. It still shocks me that she said she did not want to be friends with me anymore, it came (to me) out of nowhere. I might try to reach out to her via mail, but I don’t think it will ever be the same again because I am also very upset about the way she handled things.

I guess we just have to accept that we are more prone to feeling lonely that others might be. Maybe we just need to try and deepen the connection we have with out current friends.

Thanks again 🙂

June 8, 2015 at 5:27 am #77853
rosaly
Participant
Hey all 🙂 I will think about everyones input, thank you so much. It’s something to think about that could be very important. I really needed a different perspective on my troubles, and this is very helpful to me!

I have tried to reach out to her to talk, but unfortunately she did not want to and removed and blocked me from all social platforms and phone. I might try to reach out to her via mail, but I don’t think it will ever be the same again because I am also very upset about the way she handled things. It’s so sad, because I feel like I lost my soulmate.

I guess we just have to accept that we are more prone to feeling lonely that others might be. Maybe I just need to try and deepen the connection we have with out current friends.

Thanks again everyone, your input is very helpful to me 🙂
- This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by rosaly.
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