You are right. I️ am goin to be fine. I’m struggling with the fact that I️ could have carried on like it never happened. But besides the fact that I’m an honest person I’m trying learn to trust people and communicate my feelings and needs. The more I️ think about it the more I️ think that it might be a jealousy thing. When we were talking he just looked at me until I️ told him who I️ got it from. And while he was struggling for words he kinda mentions “u two sneaking around”. Not the exact words but along those lines. Or u could be right, a personal issue. Thank u for replying.

Anita,

thank u for replying. I️ think you are right. I’m pretty hurt about the situaion. I️ know this all just happened yesterday and I’m trying to process it. I️ feel like he is being a bit harsh about the situation on my end. Mostly because he won’t even talk to me or return texts. Also I️ understand that I️ am responsible for myself but to commit to moving someone 5 hours away into your home, telling them that we will work through whatever issues come up, and then just giving up on them when one major issue happens. I️ don’t know. He is a pretty aware person. I️ have talked to my mom a lot about my relationship with him since I️ moved here and she feels like he tries to “play god”. I️ don’t want to speak bad about him as he has helped me a lot and I️ care for him but sometimes I️ feel like he does the things he does to look good in the eye of other people and to be about to say “you wouldn’t be here or have this if it weren’t for me”. I’m not beating myself up over the relapse and I’m not goin to use again.  I️ just want to understand things better.

I️ appreciate you insight. When I️ mention the conversation between my mom and I️, I️ think that I️ was trying to explain that I️ vent to my mom but I️ also don’t leave out little details that could be significant to the situation. My mom knows him and she thinks he is a wonderful, generous man. But to be so hateful towards a person you say that you love and so easily drop them when something doesn’t go as planned. Maybe it’s not harsh. I️ feel that this is all part of the bigger plan. I’m not angry with his decision for me to leave but the way he did it. Yesterday he left the house immediately after our talk and said he would be gone for the day and I️ better be gone when he gets back at 5. So I️ grabbed a few changes of clothes and necessities and left. I️ text him telling him I’m sorry for everything and thanked him for his generosity and let him know that I️ couldn’t get all of my things because I️ didn’t have boxes or time to move everything. I️ also assured him that I️ wasn’t trying to get him to change his mind or drag things out. It was all just too much for one day. His reply was that he would pack it for me so I️ told him to do what he needed to do to be happy. I’m not trying to make him out to be the bad guy but and I’m definitely not saying that what I️ did was ok. But a week ago he was raving about how well I️ did and he was surprised how easy my detox had been. I️ guess I️ just feel like when someone commits to something, they should follow through and in this case, at least make sure the person gets back to where you got them from. Not just tell them to get out and not return texts or phone calls. I’m just staying positive and working on myself. I’m giving him his space to do whatever he needs to do. I️ also want to add that he has a history of drug abuse himself so he knows how these things go. We take it day by day.

Thank u everyone for the insight. I’ve been so busy I️ haven’t been on here. So it’s been a few weeks now and I️ couldn’t be happier. I️ see things so clearly now and I️ truly believe everything happens for a reason. Me and my ex did not get back together. We do still talk and will remain friends. He’s a great guy and I’m thankful for his help and guidance. I️ think now looking back, my relapse was his excuse to break things off. There were little signs I️ ignored that were telling me the feelings were changing. I’m completely at peace with everything. I’m still in the same town he brought me but I’m staying with my mom and my 15 year old son (he has been staying with my mom for the last 2 years for school). It’s a blessing that I️ can be here with my mom bcuz the day that my ex boyfriend drove 5 hours to pick me up, my mom was at the hospital getting a biopsy on a lump in her breast. About a week later we got the results that it was cancer. She had surgery October 30 to remove the lumps. She starts radiation next month. That’s what I mean when I️ say everything happens for a reason. Had he not came to bring me here, things would just be different. So I’ve had a wonderful time exploring this little city that I️ left so many years ago. I’m so free and my opportunities are endless and everyone is on good terms. I’m also still clean. Happy holidays.