Hello,

I have this friend of mine, we used to talk constantly (both sides would instigate), conversations were deep and meaningful; we could talk about anything without any fear of being misunderstood.  We used to spend a very large amount of time together every day for months on end.  There were times we had disagreements but they were addressed and mutually resolved in ways I’ve never had before (actual closure and resolution).

Then almost overnight they stopped talking to me, stopped texting calling and inviting me to do things.  I noticed they were spending a lot, and I mean a lot, of time with another mutual friend of ours.  I went over a whole week not really even hearing from them at all.

At this point, the few times I’ve been invited to participate, I’ve been ignored (aka. invited to do something only to have them only be in a one on one call with the third person we were out with).  Any time I said anything, I got no response unless I repeated it more than three times.

Since then, I’ve been made to be a third wheel, just mostly listening to them flirt and banter about personal things in a public space.  I’ve even been outright left by my friend for them to go call the mutual friend while we were in the middle of doing things together.

Overall I don’t believe they’ve done anything intentionally to hurt me, however being ignored and left (many times) for this other person has left me feeling hurt abandoned and overall ignored.

The few times they’ve messaged me recently they’ve said they miss me but can’t “leave” this mutual friend.  They no longer make any time for me, nor do they call me.  They have made passing invitations of “if you want to do something let me know” but it always has to be something that my friend and our mutual friend can do together.  It’s gotten to the point where they are inseparable.

I’ve told them that I miss talking with them, and they’ve said they miss me and want to talk to me, however nothing has really changed.  I’m unsure how to interpret all of these recent behavior changes.  After thinking about the recent past events there was really nothing I could see that would have caused this rift.

I’m getting to the point where I do not want to spend time with my friend because they are always with the mutual friend and this creates a third wheel situation.  I’ve thought about telling them how I feel, as that would normally not be an issue, however I’m not sure how to approach the situation as often people get defensive in situations like this, as they feel they’ve done nothing wrong.

Recently they’ve sent a few passing messages and we’ve had some chit-chat but nothing substantial.

I don’t know what to do.

Thanks, River