Anita,

Your #1 below is totally off base, and backwards from what I wrote. The kid “is” the source of my anxiety; it “is” the kid who is driving me insane. I am certain of that, and it should be clear from above. I maintain a Buddha-like calm in classes that he is not in, and I wrote that, so no, “my current anxiety” is not what is causing me to be annoyed. I wrote that I have always been annoyed by these kids with repeated motions; this kid is simply off the charts.

I think your #2 is off base as well. As I wrote, these kids don’t even know what they are doing, so clearly they don’t have on conscience intent towards me or anyone else. Birds vs. human calling – neither one is a repetitive motion or noise. Kids such as those I refer to live in a bubble, and have incontrollable behavior, so I don’t think they are comparable to people who shout outside someone’s window, or who talk loudly on a cell phone around other people.

I will totally ignore you last question, based on everything before it being totally off from what I wrote/described.

(1. When I am already anxious everything sounds louder then when I am not anxious.

So I am thinking, now that you are in your highest anxiety, in trouble at work for exploding at students, sleeping so little, the sounds are likely to be even more bothersome. Do you think?

2. Some sounds bother me more than others because of the intent that I see in the making of the sound. For example nature sounds, birds, don’t bother me. On the other hand, a neighbor raising his voice playing with his kid or calling the dog bother me beause I believe the neighbor is ignoring the suffering he is causing me by being loud, is happy while I am suffering. I think this sensitity has to do with my childhood experiences.

I am wondering if you see an Intent in the students making those sounds, it triggering a childhood experience of some sort?)

MB. Thanks for your thoughts. Of course teachers get frustrated about things that administration does or does not do, etc. However, that is not what is responsible for my irritation, and I am not talking about undesirable behavior in general, such as talking at the wrong time or using phones in class. I am talking very specifically about low frequency repeatedly movements or sounds. I am irritated in the same way if I see or hear the same type behavior on a train or in an airport lounge, and there is certainly no sense of “hopelessness” or “powerlessness” in those cases. I think I mentioned people who chew gum like human swine in my first post, and I should clarify that I do not even have to hear these people. They could be on the other side of a class window, or I could be using headphones, and not be able to stand looking at a person who is chewing gum like a pig, with their mouth opening between each chew. Fast moving objects, such as a fan, are not a problem. It is movements or sounds with lower repetition rate: pen twirling, gum chewing, or the ticking of a clock, for example.

Anyway, so far I feel that no one here is really completely identifying with the problem, although your suggestion of misophonia is realistic. That is the kind of thing I am suspecting, rather than these Freudian type analyses that are being thrown around. Nobody in my entire family or child hood, and no person in my 17 years of schooling was guilty of this type of behavior, so I basically reject such theories. I am also irritated when people spend too much time crackling potato chip bags, and that sort of noise in the classroom(students can eat in the classroom at my school). Anyway, as I keep saying, it is not only sounds but movement. Finally, as I already stated in my first post, the problem is worse if I have to be delivery a lecture or explaining something logical. If I am sitting at home on the sofa and someone digs around in a chip bag for a couple of minutes, it isn’t really a problem.