Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→How to tackle this situation??[Recovered from a problem but addicted]
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May 18, 2016 at 10:03 am #104901MabusParticipant
Hello ,
I am new to this forums so please excuse me if i break any rules, first of all i would like to tell you my story and then i want suggestions from people with experience and wisdom. when i was 18 i went to engineering college and became friends with a girl..after reguler phone calls and chats we becames best friends(I nvr had feelings for her but i am confused as i was addicted to her phone calls and messeges)..at the same time when i was dealing with the sexual tension between me and my friend i had to face one more problem..my father started an affair with his assistant and i was the first one to discover it..and then after certain time my mom came to know about the affair and there it was…fights everyday…everytime..i was living in hell…it was very hard to deal with the situations in the evening..and because of this i started to feel emotional gap and i started to expect more things from my friend and she always wanted to keep me a friend…and at the same time i was preparing for an important exam …and with all this chaos i failed in that exam …and to end this stream of problems i was diagnosed with ratinal patch (for which i had to go to hospitals)…………../// all these things forced me to into something that i never really understood…may be i was depressed…and because of all these problems my behaviour went abnormal and started to fight with my friend..and eventually i recognised that my family needs my support more than my friendship…and i left her with a big fight ….i was still holding my ground and gave that exam again got admission for higher studies..and gradually after my father recognised his mistake things became normal after 3 years of mental truama…..and then i focussed on my ratinal patch and took proper treatment and care….and all the problrms are solved……but somewhere along the line i changed..i cultivated habbit of masturbating….and i started to watch porn almost everyday and i still do…it is not my first addiction …i was addicted to my friends phones and messegfes as i mentioned earlier…and i came out of it..but this time i was trapped…now i want to get out of it….i dont want this to turn me into some kind of moster as when i see girls i feel physically attracted to them immediately …and i am a teacher now and i think i must change my behaviour…please share your wisdom with me…May 18, 2016 at 10:50 am #104906NorthParticipantI know nothing of your disease and actually masturbating at such extremes but men seem to more than women. The good thing is that you recognize you have a problem. a huge first step. It sounds like you have other compulsive behaviors, that may be triggered from the family issue and your illness? I strongly suggest you see a psychotherapist that can prescribe meds. There is a world of meds that help calm mental disorders, I am not a dr by no means. but I went on an anti depressant this past year for a host of issues (work, parent dying, another parent alzehimers,etc) and low and behold this tiny pill does make me feel better. I am not ‘sedated’ but it is some sort of brain inhibitor that reduces the depression. I don’t have that sinking feeling in my chest that I am going to cry or all is lost. I do feel deep sadness but the ‘extreme’ part went away. See a Dr. plus some counseling may do the trick. Above all, do not break any laws, you can not reverse that. Try Please.
May 18, 2016 at 6:40 pm #104972AnonymousGuestDear curiousx:
Too bad your father had an affair. But much worse for you is that both your parents participated in fights that understandably traumatized you, fights for three years? That is a shame. I wish they didn’t expose you to such distress. You were an innocent party to the affair and didn’t deserve to suffer their fights.
Before I continue, can you share how old you are? Were your parents fighting for three years? How old were you when they started fighting?
Do you still live with your parents? You wrote that you are a teacher, how long have you been a teacher?
anita
May 18, 2016 at 9:49 pm #105004MabusParticipantThank you lucylou for your advice
Anita,
I was 19 when the fights started..and i completed engineering at 22(started at 18) ..then took a break for one year for the preparation of the exam that i mentioned(GATE)..right now i am 25 and i cpmleted my Post graduation just one year ago and working as a faculty in an enginerring institute…the thing is i am fine now just except the addiction which remained with me…May 19, 2016 at 6:28 am #105016AnonymousGuestDear curiousx:
Obviously the ongoing fighting between your parents took a great toll on you. They scared you, distressed you and your brain looked for ways to relieve the distress. You ended up with your current way of relieving distress: watching porn and masturbating.
As a young man of 25, masturbation is natural, not a defect of character, not a fault. It is your business, your private business which you do in private. If it is done excessively and it is physically harming you or otherwise taking too much of your time and focus, well, that’s a problem.
As far as pornography: I personally dislike the concept and wish it didn’t exist, the whole industry, the production and consumption of it. And it seems to me that you too don’t approve of it although you enjoy it. There is that dissonance: you like something and you hate yourself for liking it.
Am I correct in the last sentence? Let me know.
anita
May 19, 2016 at 7:07 am #105019MabusParticipantYes i hate it but i am addicted to it ..its a horrible feeling…i feel like i won the whole war but because of it i got this side effect..so how to overcome this??? …i mean i know it is not a fault in character but you know after some time you look the world with different perspective..and i dont want to waste my time in masturbating…i want to achieve more things in my life…
May 19, 2016 at 7:41 am #105026AnonymousGuestDear curiousx:
You deal with porn addiction like any other addiction. There are self help groups in the U.S to battle addictions, the original is AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). From that group developed self help groups to deal with addictions to this or that drug, to food, to gambling… and among the many are groups for those addicted to sex.
I don’t think you live in the U.S., do you?
No longer watching porn: did you try this? (I am supposing you did). How did you try? Do you have a collection of porn movies, do you download those from the internet? Visit particular stores to buy those?
anita
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