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How to stop myself from loving anyone anymore?

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  • March 23, 2020 at 12:26 pm #344786
    ParadoxMusic
    Participant

    I fell in love with a girl. But I know that she would say no if I asked her. She already told me that she loves me as a friend and nothing more. Now I don’t want to fall in love ever again. I feel that love is annoying. It can be distracting, painful and sometimes stupid and sometimes make your personality change. I grew a little bit aggressive and desperate when I realized the girl I like would say no. But I managed to bring my personality back to normal. And I don’t want to fall in love ever again. Is there any way to stop myself from loving anyone?

    March 23, 2020 at 12:47 pm #344790
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ParadoxMusic:

    “Is there any way to stop myself from loving anyone?”- I don’t think that you can order your heart to not feel what it feels. But you can control your behavior and not pursue a girl you feel love for (or affection, or desire for). You can feel it, but not act on it.

    anita

    March 23, 2020 at 6:48 pm #344884
    ParadoxMusic
    Participant

    I guess my only option is to stop going after her. But I can’t seem to find a way to stop hoping that she would change her mind.

    March 23, 2020 at 6:55 pm #344890
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ParadoxMusic:

    Put this hope into music then, put it in a song.

    anita

    March 24, 2020 at 11:04 am #345094
    Peter
    Participant

    Hi Paradox

    Now I don’t want to fall in love ever again. I feel that love is annoying…

    Your alias PardoxMusic may not be a coincidence as I suspect the answer lies in the Paradox of Love

    I suspect that if you meditate on LOVE. Love as it is and not some movie version of the experience of ‘falling’ into something other…  What if Love is a falling towards yourself and life as it is. a letting go that is not a giving up or into/expectation of something but a embrace of wonder of uncertainty… That falling isn’t a choice… we are all of us falling the question is in choosing how we fall. Its all Love

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Peter.
    March 25, 2020 at 7:25 pm #345424
    ParadoxMusic
    Participant

    Anita, my music skills are starting to lose value and I lack the time to work on a song besides, my parents would not allow me to. As a 10th grade student, I have a lot of work to do for my exams. But I like your suggestion, but instead of making a song, I listen to songs… songs that take away my hope. I prefer it more for some reason. Don’t ask me why.

    Peter, I appreciate your advice and you are right. However, what I want, is to get rid of this feeling of love. It ruined my friendship with the girl. But amazingly, she was ok and she understood. So we continued our friendship. The fact that she understood made me love her even more! And it is annoying. I wish to stop loving. If I love again, I feel like more like an idiot and a fool.

    March 25, 2020 at 7:54 pm #345436
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ParadoxMusic:

    I will not ask you why, because you asked me to not ask you why. Plus, I don’t need to ask you why you prefer to listen to songs instead of writing a song. When I was your age, I used to listen to songs on the radio for hours, daydreaming, imagining a different kind of life.

    anita

    March 28, 2020 at 10:23 am #345894
    ParadoxMusic
    Participant

    Anita, I do the exact same thing as you: daydream when I listen to music. But more importantly, I have decided to make a remix and call it Moon and Star to depict my feelings. Wish me good luck.

    March 28, 2020 at 10:29 am #345896
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ParadoxMusic:

    I don’t know what luck has to do with you making a remix. I wish you instead to let your heart flow into your remix and make it as beautiful as your heart was at the beginning of you.  Hoping you don’t forget that beauty, don’t give up on it, go back to it.

    anita

    March 28, 2020 at 8:01 pm #345956
    ParadoxMusic
    Participant

    Thank you Anita.

    March 29, 2020 at 6:57 am #345996
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, ParadoxMusic. I hope you post again, here and/ or in new threads.

    anita

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