Hello. I would appreciate any advice on how to stay chill.

I have been suffering from being uptight uncontrollably due to my strong sense of accountability/responsibility. I feel pressure from meeting any deadline, even for a trivial thing like getting someone a surprise birthday present with a group of people. I’d immediately break down the process in my head and calculate how much each process takes time, and I’d become this uptight person focusing on making sure to get what we need before the big day (and completely ignore the importance of enjoying the process).

At work, I would constantly worry about how behind we are from the plan (which often is the case), and I get irritated during meetings because most of the meeting time are used with just talk and not reaching the decision (which in turn delay the project).  All I could think of is, ” Gosh, no decision was made on time again.” I have no room to enjoy or appreciate other people’s thoughts in those discussions, and thus only making enemies in the end.

I have zero chill. I don’t want to be this irritable uptight person who makes myself and others exhausting. I have made a mistake in the past because of this tendency, and I thought I learned the lesson; but I continuously commit to the same mistake. I would like to know if there is any good way to stop this tendency and stay calm to just enjoy.