Dear Zee:
You read like a very personable, likeable person.
Unfortunately, you are dealing with a very tough situation: “out of work, interviewing like crazy -> all turn me down -> unemployment ran out -> behind on rent -> account zeroed out’- I hope this situation improves a lot and fast. Living out of your car again is not something to look forward to.
Reading your posts, for me, is a mixed experience where I read your thoughts that make sense to me and other thoughts that make no sense to me. One thought that makes a lot of sense to me is: “I would like to cultivate an ‘always willing to learn’ mindset”.
On the other hand, in regard to: “I burn the palo santo, the incenses, the sage, I charge and wear the crystals. Nothing seems to be affecting positive change which is makes be wonder what message the universe is sending me”-
I ask myself, do you believe then, that burning incense will change your life circumstances? What entity, do you believe, is pleased by the incense you burn and then will reward you with a job?
And I ask myself, who is that “great universe” who has a particular interest in Zee suffering? Is that a kind of a vengeful god? I don’t understand.
I would like to understand your mindset in these regards, and if you would like to explain it to me, I will appreciate it.
Regarding your last post, you wrote: “my department supervisor was extremely hostile towards me mentioning she ‘regret hiring me'”- did she explain her regret, what specifically as she so displeased about?
anita