How to start over - when there's no such thing

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This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 10 months ago by Michael.

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May 30, 2013 at 7:00 pm #36289

9lives
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Hi Shiek. Well this is the first time I have ever posted to any forum. But, your story touched me. I am much older than you and feel very fortunate to have started over many times. The hard times I went through each time taught me more about myself and made things that used to seem so hard much easier for me to handle. You are so smart and self-aware to know that you need a change. So many people delude themselves and stay in the wrong place. Pat yourself on the back! I’m also glad for you that you have supportive people who love you. Its just my opinion, but I don’t think you need to resolve all past hurts in order to try a career in HR. I think dealing with past issues happens over time as you go through changes in your life. It sounds like talking to people is the way you figure things out for yourself. How about finding people in the HR field and talking to them – ask questions, such as what is a typical day like; what do they like best; what do they dislike; how did they get started; can they recommend another person to talk to. You never know what doors these conversations can open. I wish you all the best.

May 30, 2013 at 7:05 pm #36290

Indiglo
Participant

Sheik:
“I still feel like I’m letting them down by not finding a job yet that fits into my new career path.” You are over personalizing the issue. You are probably not finding the job because of factors that lay outside of your direct control, such as very few job opportunities. Do not condition yourself by “should”/”must” statements: “I must get a job ASAP”, “I should have found a job by now”. If it comes to you, change it to “IT WOULD BE NICE if I have found a job by now”, and you will feel a bit better.
You are probably catastrophizing the issue. What is the worst thing that can happen?
You actually have a strong backup: “I am very blessed to have a mom who can sympathize with my situation and a girlfriend who loves me unconditionally”, and is “VERY successful”.
I think your main issue is your low mood and anxiety rather than your matter-of-fact situation. Your low mood and anxiety, and perhaps lowered self esteem source from automatically irrational perception of things and you need to get out of this pattern. I recommend getting some psychological counseling. Find a therapist who specializes in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Also, you can learn some techniques from the “Feeling Good” book by David Burns, especially his three column technique/daily thoughts log.

May 30, 2013 at 8:21 pm #36291

StraightNoChaser
Participant

Hi sheik,

A friend of mine just got a great government internship in HR. you can totally do it. She had no experience either and was stuck in a terrible boring job before. She did a certificate college program that was one year long. It also provided an internship. She applied on her own for the governent one she does now but the educators help you find your own internship. I am also changing careers and I know how you feel. My post “end of my rope” similar struggles. It will be okay you will get through it. Maybe try volunteering somewhere to gain insight, contacts and experience. Best of luck 🙂

May 31, 2013 at 9:03 am #36304

ramandeep singh
Participant

Agreed with indiglo

May 31, 2013 at 12:38 pm #36314

phightphear
Participant

I wanted to thank everyone so much for your kind words to my post (I changed my screen name, so I apologize for any confusion) Every post helped me in leaps and bounds and made me feel better about my situation (even yours ramandeep singh)

9lives- Thank you for reminding me that changing career paths isn’t so much out of the ordinary and also reminding me that I do need to pat myself on the back for deciding to make this change. I spend way too much time beating myself up and not enough time giving myself credit for the things I have accomplished. Since reading your post I have actually come up with a couple people I know who have or currently work in HR that I can reach out and talk to in the next few days.

Indiglo- I did have this doomsday idea in my head of what would happen if I didn’t find a new job soon, but oddly enough, reading “what’s the worst that can happen?” in your response made me realize that what my anxiety driven imagination of what worst case would be is totally different to what really would be worst case scenario (which in my opinion, would be for me to go back to school before getting a new job in order to get my foot in the door) I also looked up the book you suggested; “Felling Good” and ordered it. I hope it’s as an amazing read like all the people who rated it say it is. And I am currently looking for a therapist who is willing to work with someone without insurance and your suggestion to look for someone who specializes in CBT has given me direction in my search.

StraightNoChaser- I actually read your post before I wrote mine and seeing the kind response you received inspired me to speak about my own bumps in the road. I did look up some training programs and want to get more information before putting out the money for it, but if your friend can do it, why can’t i? I wanted to comment about your post too, but I will do that on your post. Just remember, just like how you told me that it will be okay and I will get through this, the same can be said for you.

Thank you again everyone! You all made a sad young man smile and if any updates happen, I will keep you posted 🙂

June 2, 2013 at 6:52 pm #36382

Michael
Participant

Talking about starting over again??? for me must be very hard at the age of 59!!! I lost everything that I worked very hard for it ,from my condo to my bank account which is empty
now!!!and I am very tired to start all over again,to my friend who is only 28 years old I must say do not fear you have all the years before you and you can make it .for me is over ,my advise to young generation is :never second guess yourself and go with your gut feeling.and do it
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