Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years. We met when I was 19 and he was 23. We live in different cities, but from the beginning he pursued me, saying that it didn’t matter and that we could make it work. We love each other very very much. Whenever we are together we have so much fun, we make each other laugh and we connect. We have grown together. He has been my first everything and the most important person in my life. During all these years it has never been easy. There have been many times when it felt like the bad times almost outweighed the good times. We saw each other one weekend a month and I always felt like I wanted more, and that two days a month were not enough for me. I progresively became angry and frustrated that this was never goint to change, and so we begun fighting quite a lot, but whenever we were together none of this mattered. I had many doubts as to what I wanted. I felt like although I loved him -or perhapd because I did and we had such definite plans- I was losing my window of opportunity to meet other people and experiment. I have always had doubts about whether I was going to regret not being on my own and knowing what else there is. Many times I went to see him thinking about asking him to take a break, but whenever I was with him I forgot about this because I was reminded that being with him made me happy.
Event though I am convinced the love we share is true, it has gotten to the point where we no longer want the same things and don’t know how to make it work. He has become increasingly religious and does not want to live together, and I need to experience being with each other on a daily basis before taking a huge step such as marriage. We have talked about moving, but in the end it seems we are just not able to compromise on something that would work for both. He has a family business he doesn’t want to leave, and a very absorbing family and group of friends (also religious) who tell him I’m not right for him. This has caused many arguments in the last year, because we have both begun to work and truly step into adulthood and I guess we’ve evolved in different ways. I feel like he has let everyone else’s opinions cloud his mind and he is no longer sure of how he feels. I’m also not sure of how I feel. I know that I love him, but I also know that my doubts are still here.

I am so afraid that if we end it, if we take some time appart, we will never find each other again. I don’t know what to do. Right now he says he needs time to find himself and get back to who he used to be. That all of our arguments have changed him and that he needs to think. Suddenly, the panick I feel when I think of losing him has made me forget that I have doubts of my own. I’m afraid we’re making a mistake, that if we truly love each other, we might lose something that could have made us very happy and never get it back. At this point, I’m also disappointed. While I had my doubts (never about loving him, but about my lack of experience), he has always told me that he was completely sure that I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, that he wanted to marry me and be with me forever. Now it seems that while I’m resisting to let this break up happen, he has just given up. How can he love me the way he says he does and not fight for us? I am so confused about what to do. Please help.