Hi Julie,
So you lie so you can look good to people? I disagree that it doesn’t make sense. It makes perfect sense if you grew up not feeling good enough.
It’s time to heal, step by step. Mindfulness is a great tool to be conscious on whether or not you decide to lie. Each moment of interaction is an opportunity to make a conscious choice whether to lie or not, to be mindful how you want to be for yourself, whether you feel good enough for yourself.
You can see the payoff for lying. In order to really change your behavior, you have to make it very clear to yourself on what is the payoff for not lying. You really need to articulate that for yourself, to know why you will benefit for telling the truth or at the very least, not to say anything.
You may want to reinforce your changed behavior of truth telling by rewarding or acknowledging yourself every time you do so.
Metta,
Mark