Anett,

Have you considered just sitting with her and feeling your love for her? It sounds like you spend all your efforts trying to “slap the mule’s butt to get her out of her mud”, but you don’t seem to really know her. Instead, you stand as a judge and tell her that her mud isn’t real, her pain isn’t real, she is just lazy and so forth. Maybe not to her face, but its clear you see her as unjustly stagnant. Like she needs to just get over herself, go and get a job, stop her self pity. Are you that wise? Are you so certain you know better than her what she needs? How did you become so clear seeing?

I mean to be respectful, but you seem to have such apathy for your sister’s mud… as though it isn’t real. If it weren’t there, she wouldn’t be in it, ya know? Perhaps it would be helpful to get down off the high horse and sit with her. What does she see? As your heart rests with her in that way, there is a bounty of warm creativity that follows. Much like 100 invitations to grow, the heart blossoms with potentials. Maybe invite her to an outing with you, and when she says no, ” ok, maybe next time”. Then, the tenth time you do, perhaps she’ll accept, and you’ll get your chance to dance with her in a happy place.

And, be very, very careful if you suggest professional help. With all of your history of telling her how to be, what she needs, and so forth, pushing her in any direction may produce resistance. It would have to be an invitation, soft, and very considerate of her desires and free will.

With warmth,
Matt