HomeāForumsāRelationshipsāHow to handle disappointment in bf an his resentment towards me
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Anonymous.
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March 25, 2018 at 2:49 pm #199399
Hara
ParticipantI certainly wouldn’t want to be with someone who moved to spend more time with you and then does nothing but complain about his woes to you. He must not think much of you to use you as a sponge.
I was in a long distance relationship. When we started living together for real, everything went down the drain. You never truly know who a person is until you’ve lived with them. You’re better off without him!
March 25, 2018 at 10:50 pm #199483Hey Its Jess
ParticipantHello Michelle!
Listen, he is clearly going through a tough time right now so however he treats you, its best to not take it personally. You need to emotionally distance yourself from him for the sake of inner peace. Give him some time to sort out his things. You can focus on other things to keep yourself busy.
When he has calmed down, you guys need to sit down and talk about how you really felt. And come from a place of love not resentment.
hopefully it works out for you š
March 26, 2018 at 5:14 am #199513Anonymous
GuestDear Michelle:
In early March of last year, you sharedĀ that this man hasĀ “anger issues”.
You wrote: “He has been extremely stressed at work… He continuously called meĀ an asshole… HeĀ didn’t stop, I haveĀ turned offĀ my phone becauseĀ I can’t listen to him anymore. HeĀ broughtĀ up the sameĀ pointsĀ heĀ made SaturdayĀ about me not caringĀ about theĀ relationship because I haven’tĀ applied in North Carolina…he has again thrown the same comments in my face about notĀ doing anything for the relationship… He has accusedĀ meĀ of beingĀ unfaithful when IĀ haven’t. All I so is study and work… I am hurt that heĀ gave into his anger already. This makesĀ me scared… I am tiredĀ of beingĀ yelled at and crying because the person I love treats me like this.”
What you shared then andĀ yesterday leadsĀ meĀ to this understanding: what troublesĀ your boyfriend are thingsĀ from way before you came into his life.
It was not the job he hadĀ before that was responsible for hisĀ anger issues then. It isĀ not his currentĀ job thatĀ is responsible for his angerĀ issues now. It is not the distance from his family, friends and you that was responsible a year ago for his anger issues then. It is not you who is responsible forĀ his angerĀ now.
It is in his early relationships in his youngĀ life where his anger originated. His anger originated in his parents/ care takers not loving him enough, not doing enough for him, not attendingĀ to him when heĀ wasĀ distressed, being alone with his distress.
In his adult life he inaccurately projects his angerĀ into you, blaming you for not loving him enough, for not doing enough for himĀ (for the relationship), etc.
AndĀ as a result youĀ feel guilty.
Your thoughts…?
anita
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