Home→Forums→Tough Times→How to get your priorities in order while everything is falling apart~
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December 11, 2018 at 8:44 am #268857AnonymousGuest
How are you Bella???
anita
December 11, 2018 at 11:31 am #268889BellaParticipantHi Anita,
I am O.K.~ I have thought about you & hope you are having a Nice Holiday Season…
I won’t burden you with my woes, maybe after Christmas. Hopefully, The New Year will bring better things for me than the last year has. A lot of stress, I went to the Doctor the other day & it was a pointless visit. Had an appt. set up to talk to a counselor, but it was terrible. I wish you were close to me & we could have morning coffee and share thoughts. It seems like the people that I thought were my friends have been too busy over the past few weeks. I haven’t mentioned to anyone how I feel. I have kept it to myself since I posted last. My new motto, don’t say or do anything with people unless it will make them happy.
Now with that, I will probably be alone until next Christmas. Holidays are not a good time for me, close to when I have lost many Loved ones and Family members, too many sad memories.
Think of me at Christmas and send some Prayers & good vibes my way.
P.S. My 2 Kittys are doing good!
Take care & sorry it took so long to post…
Bella~
December 11, 2018 at 11:45 am #268891AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
Good to read from you.
You can take a break from your “new motto, don’t say or do anything with people unless it will make them happy”, here on your thread. It is raining here cats and dogs (talking about cats, good your 2 kitties are doing well).
Raining here heavily, sky is grey, no blue, definitely no sun anywhere in sight. Windy, and very quiet. Yes, I do wish we could visit, right now. Sit and have a hot tea, I think I would like Earl Grey with milk, sweet and hot. We could look at the rain. But instead I will soon be going out into the rain, into the cold, and the wind and walk 3.5 miles, wear my rain pants and poncho and boots.
anita
December 12, 2018 at 10:44 am #269073BellaParticipantHi Anita,
I hope you are back home safe & dry after your 3.5-mile walk. Wow, you have a lot of discipline to walk every day and in such nasty weather. We had about 12inches of snow Sunday I forgot to mention. So glad the power did not go out. My stray Black Kitty that I feed just showed up a few minutes ago since the snow. I am sure he is very hungry it is about 1:30 in the afternoon and he usually only come at night. I have been looking for him every evening since the snow and was starting to get concerned. It always makes me feel better knowing he has a full belly. I would Love to hold him and let him know he is Loved…But, he is too afraid. Maybe someday I will be able to hold him!
Earl Grey?? Actually, I do have some…I would like a sweet hot mocha Starbucks coffee…:)
I can’t believe Christmas is only 13 days from now. This will be my first Christmas to be alone since my Mother passed away. My ex has been with me since shortly before she passed. I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to the Holidays to be over. I don’t like wishing time away, but this year has probably been one of the loneliest years of my life. I pray that God will Bless me in 2019 and give me some hope.
Be safe Anita and stay dry~
Bella~
December 12, 2018 at 11:17 am #269075AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
The stray cat survived the snow, lived another day. This is what is considered success in nature: make it to another day. I see my life this way, goal: make it to the next day. And take it from there, to the day after.
The holidays will be over soon enough, time doesn’t disappoint us this way, it does move, never stopping, and if we are patient enough, we will feel it move, instead of finding ourselves stuck in made believe eternities of boredom or disappointment and sadness.
No such thing as eternity. It is not raining here today, sky is grey, no sun, trees are still, nothing seems to be moving. I already had my lunch (It is not noon yet here, but I wake up so early). Soon will be going for my walk, same loop. Talking about cats, there are cats roaming around this area, mountain lions (cougars), bob cats and a few house cats. Lots of mice to eat. I didn’t see this one cat for a while, coming to think about it, she or he used to hunt a lot around here, and I didn’t see her for a long time.
I will be away from the computer for the next sixteen hours or so. Drop me a post here and there, like you did today, don’t be a stranger.
anita
December 13, 2018 at 9:16 am #269149BellaParticipantHi Anita,
After reading about all of the animals around your property it seems a bit dangerous. You must be used to all of the furr babies. I guess they won’t bother you as long as they have no reason to fear you. It actually sounds quite pleasant!
My stray kitty came again last night and I fed him again. I am sure my boy was very hungry…Unless he has other dining areas it had been 3 1/2 days since he had any food at my house. He is such a handsome boy! Solid Black & big bright eyes…
Bella~
December 13, 2018 at 9:50 am #269153AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
I figure the chances that I will come across a cougar (bigger and scarier than a bob cat) is low because they cover large areas. Saw tracks of one in the snow last winter and a junior cougar in a night time camera right outside the house. Anyway, they cover large areas so they don’t stay in one spot. Saw a bear on the back porch a few months ago, that was interesting. Thing is I associated the bear with the cartoons I watched and the bear toys so common, the furry, fluffy ones, so when I saw the bear I saw a sad, lonely bear, didn’t feel scared. He was scared thought and ran away.
Another cold day, but not below freezing, no frost, windy, but not too windy. No sun. I like the no sun most of the time.
I just remembered that you mentioned sweet hot mocha Starbucks coffee. I used to love Starbucks, got a lot of coffee from there, my usual was extra three shots soy latte. I liked it very strong, still do, every morning, making my own.
Back to cats, you do love cats. Do you believe in the concept of cat people and dog people?
anita
December 22, 2018 at 5:13 pm #270503BellaParticipantHi Anita,
Only a few more days until Christmas & I hope you have a Christmas Beautiful Day~
I have been dealing with a lot in the past week or so…Busted water heater and flooding of the basement/electrical issues with overhead ceiling lights and evicting my renter. She refused to pay the rent and bills which were in my name~ She was a handful. She also had moved her boyfriend & his 2 dogs in which was clearly not allowed without asking first.
I found out yesterday my ex did get married and purchased a large home on several acres, which really hurt! He never even had a charge card when we were together & I had to co-sign for his car because he couldn’t get a loan. How in the world could he purchase a home?? Knocks me for a loop. This was all done back in the summer, only 3 months after he left. I must say it rips my Heart out and makes me feel so disposable. It’s like our 8 years together was absolutely meaningless to him. I know I shouldn’t feel that way but I do. 3 months after he left all of this happened. Merry Christmas to me, as if things weren’t bad enough…I am so sad and Heartbroken I can hardly stand it. I don’t want to see or talk to anyone. I feel like I am that person in a Snow Globe that never gets out and only picked from the shelf on occasion to shake & watch the glitter fall back to the ground.
I have scanned the dating sites thinking it would cheer me up and distract me for a bit, but it was terrible. Maybe 3 guys were cute, but after reading their profiles I knew Thay were not my type. I will leave the men alone for now. When I found out about my ex it set me back a bit. When I found out about him I realized I still had hoped we may have gotten back together. I just didn’t want to admit to myself. I had this crazy idea he would come back and tell me how much he Loved and missed me and that he had made a terrible choice by leaving. I feel I really wanted to know I was Loved and that what we had shared did count for something. I really don’t think I will ever be able to trust a man. I can’t stop crying and I can barely see the keyboard to type.
You are the only person I have mentioned this to. I really wish we could have our tea together in the morning and have a nice talk.
My Heart is truly Broken in a million pieces~
Bella
December 23, 2018 at 4:09 am #270521AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
Had over 60 mph winds the other day, incredible, power was out and just got it back, at 2:45 AM or so, after more than two days and nights (not the longest we’d ever been without power here). I thought we will not have power during Christmas.
I feel badly about you feeling badly. In your thread from May you wrote: “About 3 months ago I found out he had been hiding financial information from be about his credit (which is terrible)… the reason I found out about the bad credit is because we were going to take out a Home Loan to build a house together”-
– This summer, less than six months after you found out that he has bad credit, he “purchased a large home on several acres”-
Is there any other option than someone else’s credit being used to purchase his home, maybe his new wife’s credit?
I figure he really wanted to own a house, and it was after you told him earlier in the year, after finding out about his bad credit, that “we should hold off on the New Home and just enjoy life and not get caught up in the stress of a new expensive home since we just getting our heads above water”, that he left you and quickly got into a relationship that made it possible for him to own a house.
You kept wondering how a man can move on so quickly to a new relationship after eight years with you. What if the answer is that simple: he wanted to own a house.
Is there a way for you, Bella, to grieve this dead relationship next, because like you wrote in your recent post, you just found out that you “still had hoped we may have gotten back together… I had this crazy idea he would come back and tell me how much he Loved and missed me”-
-and now that hope is dead just like the relationship with him???
With this hope dead, a new life can begin for you.
anita
December 23, 2018 at 12:32 pm #270643BellaParticipantHi Anita,
Glad you will have power for Christmas…I believe this will be my most dreaded Christmas ever. I have not spoken to anyone in days & feel so empty. I really don’t want to be around anyone at the moment especially feeling as I do.
The house my ex purchased is in his name & it just doesn’t make sense. I saw his credit & 2 bankruptcies. It wouldn’t bother me so bad except he always said he couldn’t get a loan & as I mentioned earlier I had to co-sign for his car. Am I being punished for something? It seems like he met her and gave her everything in 3 mos. that I always wanted the two of us to have. I am so hurt and disgusted over the past 8 months and how everything has unfolded for the two of them I am letting it destroy me, maybe I am jealous of what they have. I feel he used me to get back on his feet, got me in a financial bind and now he has a new home married with the girl he has known for less than a year. I hate to admit it but I am stewing over the situation. It just doesn’t make sense and I know it never will. I am just hurt that he never would be kind enough to me to talk and let me say what I needed to say to him before he began life with someone new.
I still can’t believe the man I Loved once would treat me as he did. Walk away and never look back. It seems like a nightmare!!
I guess I will eventually be able to put this behind me if it doesn’t kill me first. I am beginning to feel like a hermit…I just don’t want anyone to see me like this, being so sad.
Bella~
December 24, 2018 at 6:02 am #270701AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
It sure is nice to have power. Did I mention that because we are outside city limit and have a well, we don’t have running water when out of power? Nice to have running and hot water!
He managed to get a mortgage with bad credit, bad credit that you saw with your own eyes shortly before he left, and he used his bad credit, not his now-wife’s credit… this doesn’t compute for me, not that I am a financial person, far from it, but this is basics.
You wrote, “it wouldn’t bother me so bad except he always said he couldn’t get a loan.. I had to co-sign for his car… It seems like he met her and gave her everything in 3 months that I always wanted the two of us to have”-
these things wouldn’t bother you if the credit issue was clear, made sense. It doesn’t make sense that “he gave her everything” when his credit was so bad, and you saw it yourself, his bad credit, with your own eyes.
This lack of logic is disturbing me.
“I will eventually be able to put this behind me if it doesn’t kill me first”- I do hope that you put it behind you somehow, because something will kill you eventually, true to us all. Better leave misery behind best we can.
anita
December 24, 2018 at 7:14 am #270719BellaParticipantHi Anita,
I have decided to do my best to put the part of my life with my ex behind me. It doesn’t matter how, why or what. It is over and should not have any impact on my life any longer. I must follow that feeling instead of torturing myself. I have many unanswered questions, but even with the answers would it matter? He left with not much of an explanation and most has been a mystery and will probably always be. I need to realize after 8 mos. all I have found out is deceit & lies. So, do I really want to know the truth? I need to focus on my future, not the past with someone who did not care about my well being.
I wish you a Beautiful and Happy Christmas. I hope Santa leaves you something you need and want! (Lights & Water) 🙂
As always Pray for me and I hope to make it through the day with Happy thoughts.
Bella~
December 24, 2018 at 7:28 am #270727AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S !!!!!!!!!
Santa has already delivered its present, at 2:30 AM (!) 12/23 when a truck with flashing lights arrived in the driveway with workers from the local dept of power asking if the power is back on, after doing their fixing work! It was such a strange experience, as close as you can get to reindeers showing up in the wee hours, in the dark, with flashing lights and Santa there too!
anitia
January 4, 2019 at 8:21 pm #272341BellaParticipantHi Anita & Happy New Year!!
I hope this finds you well…I have had an uneventful last few weeks. Santa forgot me this year…LOL at least I will have something to look forward to next year for Christmas.
I am giving up on the dating site. 2 Scammers & 4 guys that only spoke about sex & it made me sick to my stomach. I am shocked at how all men want to do is talk about sex. I met 3 for coffee, 1 looked like he just rolled out of bed, 1 was nice, but not my type and the last one had dated a friend of mine recently…(that was a definite NO!!)
Bella~
January 5, 2019 at 3:49 am #272359AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
Is this a recent experience with a dating site?
An uneventful Christmas is not as bad as a Christmas with a bad event. Yesterday I hurt my ankle/ leg and can’t walk at all, using crutches, and it still hurts this very early morning after.
I suppose I will have to get through it, I just hate it to be disabled. Hate not being able to get up and walk, don’t care for the pain either, or the whole experience!
So, back to you… tell me anything at all, will you?
anita
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