Home→Forums→Tough Times→How to get your priorities in order while everything is falling apart~
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Anonymous.
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October 13, 2018 at 10:21 am #230723
AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
Good tor read you “can wake up & have NO feelings for him at all”. I hope your cat heals and that you will continue to heal yourself. Thank for the weekend wish and have a nice weekend yourself!
ania
October 15, 2018 at 9:07 am #231139
BellaParticipantGood Morning Anita,
Please send some positive feeling my way. I am falling back into depression & have been in bed more than not. Trying to do all I can to not think about the direction my life is going. It seems like nothing but negative thoughts & feelings are creeping back.
My positive attitude was short lived and now I am back in the rabbit hole. It mainly started with all of the comments of my ex & his new girlfriend. I guess I am avoiding hearing things about them as long as I stay home. I got a new cell phone number and haven’t given it to anyone. I feel at peace not having any communication with people. I have so much I need to do & just stay in bed. I feel safe there.
I don’t know what to do because this is where I always end up…hiding from reality. It scares me!
Bella~
October 15, 2018 at 10:17 am #231161AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
When you do leave home again, tell people everywhere you go to not tell you about him and his girlfriend, to not report to you with sightings of him!
“I feel at peace not having any communication with people”- remember the lack of peace you had when he was still living with you? Remember that peace was not always with him.
Please do what you need to do today, one task at a time, schedule resting in between tasks, will you?
anita
October 16, 2018 at 5:57 am #231297BellaParticipantGood Morning Anita~
You are right, I will stay away from places he may go & avoid the people that may see them together and get pleasure from the Drama. I will think about all you have said.
It is so disappointing to have come this far and feel I am taking one step forward and 2 steps back. But, I will be positive today and follow your given advice.
Have a nice day~
Bella~
October 16, 2018 at 6:48 am #231303AnonymousGuestGood morning, Bella!
I don’t know if you should stay away from places and avoid people. What if you assert yourself with them, telling people to not report to you any sightings of him? And also, change your phone number so to no longer provide that discount for him…
Feelings change, when you feel badly, it doesn’t mean you took a step backward. We just don’t stay feeling good on and on. It is not possible. Mental health does not mean feeling happily-ever-after, it is about functioning better and better regardless of how we feel.
anita
October 17, 2018 at 8:57 am #231509BellaParticipantHi Anita,
I was up most of the night thinking about my past relationship with my ex. I am sure it has to do with the weather change and knowing the Holidays are just around the corner. Will this pass soon, or do I have until after the New Year for this to come to an end.
I don’t know why all of this is disrupting my life again as if it just happened.
Bella~
October 17, 2018 at 9:48 am #231529AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
The holidays. Many people are already beginning … not to look forward to celebrating the holidays with their loving families, but they are waiting for these holidays to be over, before they begin. I think you are lonely, this is why you stayed up thinking about him. We keep wanting love and company, someone special in our lives. It is our nature. Which reminds me that I offered you a birthday gift, a one on one guidance into online dating. Well, I am now extending the offer as a holiday offer.
I don’t think you feel like it, but it might be a good idea, doing it the scientific way. It is an opportunity to learn, if nothing else.
anita
October 17, 2018 at 10:59 am #231537BellaParticipantHi Anita,
Not much luck with the dating game. I went on a few dates & tried to be open-minded, but all I could do is come home and blame myself for my break up. I am beating myself up by only thinking of everything I did wrong. I don’t know why I have been obsessing to think if he would have talked to me only once since the break up I could get some closure. It still breaks my Heart that he has never spoken to me since the breakup. I still don’t understand how he could have moved out and never at least have given me a chance to talk about things and to answer any questions I still have. Why does this bother me so much? I feel like I am reliving this whole mess over & over.
I was starting to feel strong a few weeks ago, what has happened to throw me back into this world wind. I hate the way I feel, I am pushing the few people that care away by turning into a hermit! I have stayed in the bed watching TV and torturing myself with thoughts of the past & how the Holidays are going to be. Dreading every minute of what my future holds. Seems like everything has been downhill since he left. My life has basically been at a standstill. I feel like my World has stopped. I am not looking forward to anything, only dreading the future!
Bella~
October 17, 2018 at 11:41 am #231561AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
“everything has been downhill since he left,,, dreading the future!”- but how was life uphill when he lived with you?
I sure hope you feel better soon. I am not focused now but will be back to your thread in about sixteen hours from now, when I am back to the computer. Can you answer the above question before I am back?
I figure your thinking is not accurate right now, which is why you feeling so badly. If you correct your thinking you will probably feel much better!
anita
October 18, 2018 at 10:48 am #231717AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
How are you?
anita
October 18, 2018 at 9:30 pm #231791BellaParticipantHi Anita,
I have had a few posts & looks like I must have hit a wrong button, I do not see them.
I am doing ok…I managed to take care of a few much-needed errands yesterday & purchase some groceries. I am doing my best to be positive with your help, I have managed this. A friend told me I should go & talk to someone and I told her I have a better option. “YOU”…
The post we have shared since the summer has helped me more than anything else could have. I am looking forward to seeing what the Holidays will hold for me. I am not expecting any miracles, just to get by without too many sad moments, or tears…
You are like my well needed secret friend. I hope you know who much you have helped me over the past 6 mo’s. You are my Special Friend! I can’t thank you enough. Knowing you are silently there for me, helps me to survive.
Bella~
October 19, 2018 at 4:59 am #231845AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
I am so touched by your kind words and so very motivated to continue to be your special friend on and on, through the holidays and beyond. And you are very welcome. I am grateful that you are here, that I have this opportunity to communicate with you.
The holidays are just that, days. Every day is a unit of time and if we survive a day, we wake up to another day. This is all we can do, all any living thing aims at doing. As humans though we have the option to use our thinking, our rational part of the brain, to function better today than yesterday, to lower our unnecessary suffering and increase our peace of mind best we can.
Whenever you think, for example, that “everything is falling apart” because of the ending of that relationship, rethink rationally: life is not falling apart today any more than it did yesterday or tomorrow. Life wasn’t that great when he was around, and life can be better for him being gone.
anita
October 19, 2018 at 7:38 am #231879BellaParticipantHi Anita,
Feeling more positive today & I am Blessed #1, to have found this site which led me to you. My Ghost friend as they say in this crazy cyber world. & #2 my Furr babies…With the 3 of you, I am realizing I can deal with life a little more easily. I was up watching Dexter last night, LOL & my 2 Furr babies were right with me cuddling by my side as if they knew mom needed them.
They are precious, both are Tux kitties, my boy is 16lbs & little girl is 6lbs & I love them so. I would like to get another solid black kitty from the shelter, but I feel I should wait until I am in a better place.
Going to try & be positive about the rest of the year and embrace the upcoming Holidays. Alone, or not I will do my best. Who knows what the future holds & if I stay negative, it will only be negative. Actually, I like being alone because when I talk to most people it seems like it’s mostly drama & I despise drama. I am more of a quiet person & prefer being alone. I guess I should realize this and embrace that also, instead of getting so upset about being alone. I should be glad I can enjoy being alone because a lot of people seem to go crazy unless they are running all the time and in the middle of a large crowd.
Enjoy the Day My Friend & I will post again tomorrow~
Bella~
October 19, 2018 at 8:03 am #231889AnonymousGuestDear Bella:
I have this image of you and your two kitties, your two fur babies cuddling by your side on sofa perhaps, in a quiet home. I can’t imagine a more Christmassy image. It is definitely more Christmassy than the image of people “running all the time and in the middle of a large crowd”.
Will be looking forward to your post tomorrow, or when you feel like posting next and thank you for wishing that I enjoy the day.
anita
October 19, 2018 at 8:55 am #231907BellaParticipantHi Anita,
Is there a way to send you a picture of my Furr Babies?
Bella~
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