Dear Bella:

I heard that many people in the affected states are out of power. I wonder if you are one of them and therefore I don’t know if you are able to read this message. I am concerned about you living alone and wonder what you are doing. I hope to read from you soon.

anita

Dear Bella:

Good to read from you! I know the fear of trees falling because I live in a wooded area, forest, really. When winds are strong here, seeing the trees swaying heavily right and left, right outside the house in all directions, that is quite scary. Is there anyone in your area, maybe the male friend you mentioned, the one you met a few times, who you can call or who checks in on you?

anita

Dear Bella:

I am glad the storm has passed, this one has passed. I was thinking about another kind of storms, the emotional  ones, how we should do our best to protect ourselves when in the midst of those storms (to not make bad choices such as.. driving when very upset, for example) and wait for those storms to pass as well.

Birthday next week, September. What day would that be on?

“just managing life” is not as joyful as well.. feeling joy and such, but it is definitely better than not managing life.

What will you do for your birthday? I remember more than ten years ago, I was so lonely on my birthday I went to Trader Joe’s  and  bought myself a cheese cake then ate it at home while crying, the salt of my tears mixing with the sweetness of that NY cheese cake.  I hope you have a better idea for celebrating your birthday than I did that year.  Do you?

anita

Dear Bella:

No need to apologize for feeling what you feel. There is nothing wrong with expressing sad and lonely feelings. It is not that you are going on and on and on about it, like some people do, people like my mother did, on and on and on so to spread her misery to the listener, or in this case, the reader. You are stating what you feel and that is fine with me.

It doesn’t sound crazy that it takes all your energy to just get out of bed. As the social animals that we are, we need to be connected to others so to feel that energy to keep moving. I read recently a horrific story, about an inmate in prison who, as I understood it, requested out of protective custody/ isolation to have contact with other prisoners, to be in the general-population even though it meant that he was to be a sexual slave to another prisoner. Horrific, an extreme example, but yet, a lot of people, including myself preferred bad company to no company at all.

anita

Dear Bella:

I appreciate your kindness as well, not wanting to bother others with your sadness, not wanting to bother me, for one. But really, it is okay because you don’t go on and on about it. It is important for our mental health to express some of what we feel, otherwise we get sick in that bubble of isolation. It is not weakness to feel sad and lonely. If it is weakness, then we are all weak.

Strength is about expressing it just the way you do here, and I think well of you for expressing your feelings the way you do. You can do more of it, I will let you know if it is too much for me. As is, you have a way to go before it gets too much for me.

anita