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How to deal with this

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • May 15, 2017 at 9:34 am #149509
    soulonfire
    Participant

    Thanks for taking the time to read my post.

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 months. He’s 25 and I’m 24. Everything is going well and we both are in love. However, when we first got together, he kissed a girl he used to casually date. It was a silly drunken kiss and he was honest and told me about it. I forgave him and we stayed together. However the girl is now friends with his sister (they weren’t friends before he dated her). I’m finding it hard to forget as she’s still around. She is with someone else now but I hate that she’s latched onto his sibling and he does too. It also hurts as his sister is really nice and friendly to me and my boyfriend thinks we could be good friends but it’s awkward as my boyfriend doesn’t want to be around the girl he used to date and neither do I. Recently we went to a party and his sister took photos of us and posted them online. The next day, the other girl posted a picture of her and the sister. It just felt competitive.

    In a relationship, it’s important for me to get on with my partner’s friends and family but I feel like we won’t ever get a proper chance and it makes me sad. I guess I’m just looking for a little advice on how to deal with this?

    x

    May 15, 2017 at 10:05 am #149519
    Alien incident47
    Participant

    You over thinking the situation from my point of view.  He was honest with you, you mentioned no sign of him trying to get with her or vice versa. The incident you write about is getting the best of you , you say you forgave him then do so as well as her . Her being around and your jealousy will only cause you grief and your relationship will suffer .

    May 17, 2017 at 3:12 am #149709
    Smile
    Participant

    He was honest to you

    He doesnt being around her

    That shows he doesnt want to have anything with her

    Just try and turn a blind eye to everything happening because nothing wrong is really happening.

    Your relationship will suffer if you continue to worry for nothing

    May 18, 2017 at 3:00 am #149809
    A.J
    Participant

    Dear Soulonfire,

    Sometimes we create our own demons. These bad things are figmentation of our imagination and we give them so much time and start acting in defense to them that they become real. I have my personal experience in this. Don’t overthink things.

    If you want to overthink…. think about your partner, of his well being, ways you can make his life better. You are just scared that someone you loved will fade away in other relationship. Don’t give him reason to fade away. Love him more, care for him more. Get out with him more share your adventures more and make the other girl jealous. If you are then stop discussing her with your boyfriend altogether. Don’t feed your demons to your partner.

    Stop treating the other girl as your boyfriend’s ex and treat her as his sister’s friend. If you are living in past, you will eventually let her spoil your future. She is no one just a friend of his sister and nothing more.

    If your partner is mentioning her more often, grab this opportunity. Show him that you are a bit jealous, love him more by making his next moments special. He will like it and love you more (I know I will).

    Best of luck.

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