Thanks for sharing your story Elizabeth. It’s a great reminder to all of us who might be dealing with guilt or shame about our past that we’re not alone and, as Jade pointed out, that we don’t need to let it be our scarlet letter.

I bring this quote by Kathyrn Shulz to mind whenever feelings of shame or guilt come up as a reminder that we can use these turning points in life for growth and development,

“If we have goals and dreams and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets, the point is to not hate ourselves for having them… We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create, and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly — it reminds us that we know we can do better.”

And as with all relationships, the golden rule applies, “One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself”.

Or to take it one step further and to paraphrase Goethe, ‘Treat others not as they were or are, but as they could be.’

Anyone who does not apply these rules in relating to us is not worthy of our love and affection.

Iily,
I don’t really think you should tell him your “number”, if you start a relationship with him-“number”/experience conversations are meaningless, as they don’t add value to anything-if I like someone, I won’t stop liking him cause of his numbers, if he treats me right, loves me and etc.
As Jade said, your past doesn’t make you unworthy of love and affection – you just acted the way you knew. And when you’re 14, well, you don’t know much (you don’t even when you’re 23 or 30, or 40, as certain learning experiences only come with age). You want a relationship now and you’re willing to be faithful and etc., so just let yourself love and be loved. Don’t listen to that inner critic that tells you that your past prevents you from getting the kind of man you want. If a certain guy will only be willing to see what you were not minding what you are now, well, he is not good for you.