Dear Dani:

Seems like somehow I missed your thread, or intended to reply before but forgot to do so.

You wrote: “I know that my parents did their best to raise me”, and you wrote: “my mother verbally and psychologically abused me from the time I was a toddler”.

Upon further reflection, will you still say that indeed that was her best?

You wrote about your mother: “She was always very over protective of me”- but she didn’t protect you from herself.

You wrote: “I’ve been criticized for my cynical attitude towards life because I was provided a comfortable lifestyle by my parents”- food and clothes, toys and gifts cannot possibly compensate, not even a bit, for ongoing mistreatment. Similar to your mother calling you her “precious jewel” not compensating for her calling you and idiot and a pig.

Thank you for sharing your story so far in life, for your aim to heal and better the world.

Are you still in contact with your mother? If so, how is this relationship affecting you now?

anita

Dear Dani:

I hope you move out of your mother’s soon and that  if  and when you do have children, you will treat them well, so that they do have a happier childhood than you had.

I think that your mother has kept  reminding you that she grew up poor and in a  (more) abusive household because  she was and  is angry at you for  (in her mind) having it better  than she had, so  she has given you bits and pieces of her experience, so that you hurt too.

I agree with you: “just because someone  is your relative and they  shower  you with gifts doesn’t always mean  they always  have the  best intentions”.

The intention may be to… prove to herself that she is a good  mother and “never did anything  wrong”, or if she did  wrong, she is thinking that the gifts given  to  you undid the wrong.

anita