Yes I have felt the same way you do.

I felt this way once I’d graduated from Uni. I had a sort of quarter life crisis and I didn’t know what direction I wanted to go in.

I believe it is because I grew accustomed to having my life planned out, sometimes years in advance. As soon as I started high school I knew that I would studying and living the academic lifestyle until I was at least 21. I had options, but they were limited.

Then suddenly I was out in the real world after graduating and I had all these possibilities and choices. It was liberating and I didn’t really know what to do. I had a series of minor jobs and I dated, but nothing really stuck and I often wondered to myself ‘What do I want’.

I was looking for a vocation and for something which would feel life changing and wonderful.

Slowly I’ve come to realise that I’m not a person who has a vocation and that most people aren’t. I think the idea of ‘finding what you are meant to do’ is a peculiarly Western one. For most of the rest of the planet, living is just living, in in most of those cases, it’s a struggle to get from one day to the next.

I think that as humans we are just meant to live and spend most of our time on working to provide for ourselves. I think most people don’t find what they ‘want’ because such a thing doesn’t really exist. Most of us don’t have desires beyond providing for our material means, finding love and having some fun.

I realised I am content ‘just’ being a wife and mother and that is what I want, if I want anything at all.

I hope that made sense!

Hey Clementine,

I also think you answered your own question.

People say they don’t know what they want out loud, because then they know they would have to commit to their dream. It’s much easier to say I don’t know….because then you don’t have to do anything to come out of your comfort zone, which means you continue doing the same things you’ve been always doing.

Also, most of the times it’s easier to point what we don’t want. Maybe you could start with that. Then notice what’s left…choose and commit.

I personally found that my biggest obstacle has not been not knowing what I love (although I had no idea), but the fact that I kept myself busy with things/people so I at least had something….like you mention..the job, the new guy etc.

As soon as I realized that and became aware of fear of failure, it’s even more scarier. You need courage to say out loud what you want. It’s sort of like getting married, you commit to the unknown. It might work out or it might not. But if you commit, try and stay true to your gut feeling, you can’t go wrong.

Good luck working on it! It’s the toughest things to do. I believe it’s our duty, to align who we are with what we do (it doesn’t happen overnight).

all the best 🙂

I am feeling exactly how you feel clementine. I’m an eighteen year old who feels so confused about life. Its like when i enter in college, I have expectations placed upon me to become a doctor like my dad and if i fail him, his money will go to waste. And yet, I don’t want to spend the next four years miserable or so into academics i won’t be able to interact with others. AT the same time, I’m worried i’ll be influenced easily into a life full of alchohol and partying because the school i’m going to has that reputation.AS well, i’m just so discouraged because when I tried to network with the people from my school or college, they just push me away, which discourages me even more. It’s already too late to sign up for community college so i feel stuck in a pithole..