dear cruzzie,

there is no great way to deal with emotions. can you explain whats going on so i can help you out cause if there are certain things happening i can give better advice on it. i also wounder how old you are if you dont mind telling. you seem like a very smart girl i can help but im going to need the bigger picture.

love,

serenity

I think in dealing with anger we need to accept it as a valid emotion and experience. There is a time for all things.

You were hurt, it sucks, and its appropriate to feel some anger over what happened. The question then becomes what do you do with those feelings.

Acting out of anger would more likely to be a reaction to the experience then a response to it. And in reaction there is always a danger in becoming stuck in in anger where we become a victim to all that befalls us.

All emotions serve a purpose and anger contains the energy within it to address the issue to which the anger points to. That energy however can also be turned against ourselves and deplete us so we need to make our anger as conscious as possible and use the energy wisely.

Hi Cruzzie,

I agree with everything Peter said.  To answer your question if it is your fault for allowing someone to hurt you: NO WAY!:)

If someone hurts us it doesn’t mean we were “too stupid” to see it coming, or for letting it happen.  It just means that person failed to honor your trust and vulnerability.

As for your anger…lean into it, as Peter described, but don’t allow yourself to wallow in it.  Avoid the mind train…playing scenarios over and over in your head…justifying how you were victimized, how wrong the person who hurt you was…that whole tape we love to play over and over in your ur heads… that’s where chronic anger takes hold.  That kind of anger hurts us because it blocks compassion.  Compassion for ourselves, and compassion for the ones who hurt us.

The person who hurt you: they made a horrible mistake…they may not even consider it a mistake right now or ever, but we can feel compassion for a person who never learned the value of human connection and vulnerability.  You gave a second chance and the one you gave it to blew it… it hurts like hell…I know, but that’s all it is.

As for you, let yourself feel the pain…then acknowledge the bravery it takes to be vulnerable with someone you want to connect with AND STAY BRAVE!  “Broken hearts are the ones that let the light in”

Love the lessons your pain teaches you and you won’t live in fear.  Stay loving and open girl!  I honor that in you and in me…it makes us strong, not weak.