Sara-Lynn,

I’m sorry for the fear and suffering you’re experiencing, and know how disorienting it can be to find ourselves in a similar, icky feeling place. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

First, and perhaps you’ve already explored this, sometimes fibromyalgia is connected to a gluten allergy. I’m not a doctor, its just synchronistic that you bring it up because a friend of mine was just telling me how she found out what had been diagnosed as FM was actually from gluten. I figured I’d pass it along either way. 🙂

Next, the surroundings are perhaps the same, but the Sara-Lynn is not the same. You’ve grown, and so history can’t repeat itself. It might look like the same room, might have the same decorations, but because you’ve changed, you’ve begun to harness your heartsong and have learned so much, the situation is irreversibly different. So don’t despair… perhaps it can be observed as an upward spiral, rather than a loop.

I really enjoy your writing, and can see why its become your art. Your words seem to fit together in a great way, and clearly paint your vision. Turning that into a sustainable career can be a process for sure, but there are also lots of opportunities on the web for freelance writers, and with your skill, it might be an avenue worth pursuing. Consider that even if your wish is to write stories or poetry, that writing blog posts or web content might help you sustain yourself while you pursue your other interests.

Finally, have you ever done metta meditation? If we wish for joy to be the momentum that carries our dance through time, metta is the fuel which keeps us peaceful and smooth minded. Sharon Salzburg has a great guided metta meditation on YouTube if you’re interested. Metta is the friendly warm feeling that arises in our chest when we feel kindness, such as petting a kitten. If your current surroundings have a lot of difficult memories tied to them, beginning a metta practice could help reinvigorate the light inside you… so you don’t get “swept in”.

Namaste, sister, thank you for reaching out, and I hope you find your love and light.

With warmth,
Matt