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How do I stop comparing myself in real life to how I should be in my own head?

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryHow do I stop comparing myself in real life to how I should be in my own head?

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  • #196889
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mike:

    In my experience of such comparison as you described and as I understand it, I compared the ways I looked, the way I behaved and the way I performed to the ways I believed or hoped would win my mother’s approval. In that comparison I came out lacking. That was definitely a source of conflict throughout my life.

    The title of your thread includes “how I should be in my own head”- in our own heads we have the mental representative of our parent or parents and their input therefore is ongoing.

    What do you think?

    anita

    #197127
    quackingphilosopher
    Participant

    Dear Mike,

    I am glad you opened up to the TinyBuddha forum.

    Your self-realisation itself is already a huge step forward, and I’m glad you’re trying to find a way out of your self-comparison.

    If you were to ask me, I feel that the condition is perfectionism. You set unrealistically high expectations of yourself – and that, I’m guilty of it too. I used to do it all the time.

    But I’ve become better at controlling the temptation to judge myself, after all, aren’t we all our worst critics?

    I’m practising self-love and self-compassion more, as well as knowing that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We can’t afford to be perfect because as cheesy as it sounds, nobody is perfect.

    Again, Mike, don’t be harsh on yourself because you’ve realised that you self-compare. Instead, try to understand that we all have our strengths and limitations. Sometimes, the further you push, the further you get. Be patient with yourself, and tell me about your thoughts.

    Regards,

    Junna

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