Jay,

That’s a good start,a good list of what you don’t like. Consider trying again, instead of pointing at the problems, write out what you’d like to have. Such as “I want to be happy”, instead of “I’m never happy”. Keep talking that way and you’ll be correct! Either way!

I don’t mean to be obtuse, but finding yourself is something you have to do yourself. Sit down, write it out. What qualities do you wish to have? What do you wish to see? Not “less pain, more pleasure”, go deeper than that. What qualities of mind and heart do you wish to grow? That’s your map, friend. The rest, icing. The rest, “what happens when jay dances with the world”. Jay, the man you’re looking for, is the fragrance that is given off by those tender qualities blooming. Water them, notice and attend them, help them grow, and you’ll not have to worry about finding Jay. You’ll be too busy being Jay. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt

Again. Matt is pretty much there!!! All I can say is….’to thine own self be true’ yes it has been said before but as I grow older, wiser and a little bit clearer…it is the best way. Otherwise….wasted life.

Jay,

I am experiencing the exact same thing as I type this. The break-up, the same emotions, the same questions, the same fears.

What I’m learning in my life journey and in my opinion now, is

1) My emotions are fleeting, like the weather. They pass.

2) It is SO, SO hard, but I believe that my only true happiness is right now, in the moment. As I am responding to this post, I feel better than an hour ago when I was on my knees crying, staring at what’s left of my earthly possessions in a pile for storage. Action, doing something like this to connect in some way and hope to provide the assurance you (we) are not alone.

3) I just finished “The Alchemist”. It was by no coincidence someone mentioned it to me a few weeks ago. It is a life-changing experience is all I can say. It has allowed me to reframe this change. Better, stronger days await me. I am convinced of it after reading this. I am seeking my “Personal Legend.”

4) I also read a quote just a few days ago that has resonated as to how grateful I should be daily. “Whenever you start worrying about your troubles, remember there is someone, somewhere, praying to have them.” Whoa. I have such “first world” problems. I actually have clothing to put in storage! I have friends and family that will never allow me to go without a meal or a roof over my head. We give love and receive it far more. I hope you can feel love coming to you now. Complete strangers, reaching out to you. You are a blessing in my journey. You’ve opened a door for me to write, speak from my heart and understand I am not alone.

5) I never want to give advice. I simply had to chime in, virtually give you a hug and tell you there’s another guy going through the same thing right now. I just wanted to share my thoughts as my emotions are swirling like stormy weather. Inevitably, the sun returns. I know it will for all of here going through troubled times.

All this said, we are human, we can not levitate on a cloud of bliss. However, ALL of our emotions are gifts. I want to experience this, as painful as it is and will be, fully. I don’t and won’t drown it out with alcohol or drugs as I would have in the past. I want to present. I want to cry.

And I want to feel this painful change because I’ve also learned that I have never, ever grown or learned anything without it.

I am sending you my sincere appreciation for this moment. We will be stronger. Only faith can fight fear.

We shall, brother.

Thanks Everyone

Thanks Andy @baldylocks What an amazing insight 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

Hi Jay

You may be 23 but you seem very evolved for your age. It is so heart warming to see that you want to create positive changes in your life and move forward.

Hey, everything that has happened in our lives is only preparing us for the moment, which is yet to come. Take the positives from each experience and keep flowing with life. There are 2 broad types of people in this world: one who keep flowing and marching forward and life rewards them with everything they want and secondly, people who get stuck in the rut and keep complaining, why this, why that etc.

I think you belong to the first category 🙂

Keep marching forward whether you have the motivation or not. Just create an intention that life is gonna be awesome each day and it cant be anything otherwise. That intention will help you create actions and once you put these actions into place, life takes a momentum, which cant be stopped.

An attitude of gratitude is a priceless treasure that we all have and can utilise every time we get kicked in the bum by situations, people or circumstances.

Keep moving forward my friend. Beautiful life and people await you and Andy.

Cheers

Jasmine