Recently I broke up with my boyfriend of one and a half years. He had admitted to smoking cigarettes among other trivial things for the past few months. However, the entire time, he swore to me he was being completely honest and open with me. He said he didn’t tell me these things because he didn’t want to start a fight or make me angry. Which I do understand because sometimes I do get upset. But he also told me he wanted my help with quitting smoking. The only reason I couldn’t pick up on these lies earlier is because we’re currently long distance for the summer.

I love him dearly and I know he loves me, but I think honesty is so important. Although we are currently broken up, I do want to get back together with him. The lies he told weren’t that big and I’ve already forgiven and accepted everything that he did and then lied about, but I think that a dark shadow has been casted over the entire relationship. I truly don’t believe he’s lied about anything bigger than that, but at the same time I don’t know.

I really want to get back together with him but I don’t know how to allow myself to trust him like I did before. I’m not angry with him at all. I am disappointed and overall hurt that he couldn’t be honest with me. I know that I need to be more open to hearing the truth so that he’ll be more open with me, but how do I know he’s even being honest with me?

I’m so lost and hurt and confused, and I really need guidance. All of my friends, including mutual friends of ours, have said that there’s no doubt in their mind that we’ll get back together. We were ‘that’ couple. We already act like an old married couple but clearly he’s still very immature.

I just want to be open to trusting him again but I don’t know how when I’ve been so hurt. Please help.