I am rereading your post again rbc, and trying to figure out and understand him, but the fact is that i have been doing that for couple of months now, and no matter how much I KNOW it’s all a guess. Online was an online site that I knew he went to meet people, and he has been on it pretty much everyday, so I stopped checking (and FYI he was checking me out few times as well ) There were other ways that I could see if he is ok or no, and he’s been fine as far as I can tell. to answer to your questions by the way We dated for couple of months, but it was weird, because felt like we’ve been dating for a year, we were so much alike and so familiar with each other’s routine, it felt like we were an old couple. We were perfect I should say. And he knew it. he couldn’t wait to text me when I left him, he was always eager to see me, and he was treating me like a princess. these memories make it very hard. And as soon as I feel like am making progress, I wake up in the morning like today having to dreamt about him all night. I know this sounds like a teeager, but am a 34 yr old woman, having to gotten hurt a lot in my life, and dated lot of idiots, and this one felt different, I really felt like he might be the one I’e been looking for. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and after dating on and off, I think I am finally ready to be in a serious relationship and I can tell who is playing who is not on the first date. Anyways, I feel really powerless in this situation, because I hate it when someone misunderstands me, to answer to you about understanding why he did this; I feel like those few days that i went through a dramatic experience at the border and my plans falling apart, I was a bit vurlanble, and of course I sent couple of message to him as I said, which was more than usual, so I feel that he thought I am getting attached, and I am not gonna be in NYC soon anymore, so what is the point. I don’t low, the point is , you can think whatever you want, but these are all guesses, and I have to live with these for the rest of my life. If he doesnt come back. I think the reason I can’t message him and something is holding me back is that I feel like he might come back later on. I do’t know really, I dont even know why I can’t send him a message. I am not clear at all why I feel this way and how this whole thing is going to turn out. All I want is not to remember him anymore and feel better and get closure and move on. I need to be in power again, I feel hopeless. and when I do feel powerful I want to send him an angry message and tell him off. which goes away after few minutes.
Anyways,
Thanks again,
feedbacks appreciated, and I will let you know about my progress
love
danubelle

Thanks Hurtone,
I can tell you are real hurt. Yes, I am hoping that i am passed that shaky stage, as I told rbcrbc, I feel good now that i didn’t message him, as she said; he probably saw it the best way for me and for himself to leave it like this, I am not angry at him anymore, I just miss him a lot, but as she said, it’s more about me than him. If by any chance he thought I was getting too attached or clingy with those couple of messages I sent back then, this leaving it alone makes me feel a lot better about it as well, I do not want to confirm that judgement if that was the case. Anyhow, I have to confess though to both of you, I would have preferred that he would contact me and apologize and etc. But then I started to imagine it and I felt, do I really want that? What if he did do that, what am I gonna do with it now? I am not in NYC, and he is not gonna fix other issues I have right now in my life, do I really want him to see me like this, while I am waiting to get my life back on track? The answer was no. Every time something “bad” happens to us, once we snap out of the emotions and the hurt, we see that someone above was looking out for us.
Thanks again!
Love
Danubelle

Hi Laura,
thank you so much for the insights. I do agree with some parts of your message. But i have to mention something, I am feeling much better right now, after I started to manage to seperate my ego from my true self, because I realized it was my ego that was trying to control the outcome and controling someone else. Anyways, I have realized that although I had a great time with him during that time, and it needed to be left at that for now or forever I am not sure yet, but the bottom line is, it is not about him, I never wanted a long distance anyways, and I only started with him because I was planning to be in nyc soon. Universe has its own reasons, and I have to have faith, I can not control other people’s actions, I still think he was a nice guy, he was very sweet to me, and I might be upset not having him around, and I might not do it the way he did, but I might understand why. It doesn’t really matter I guess. If he was meant to be with me he would have.
As for you, to be honest I see a lot of anger in your message, hence the one year and haven’t been able to move on. Once I started to seperate my ego from myself and my pain I was able to feel better and move on. I think you are talking with your ego here, and still connected to it, that is why you are a bit judgmental in your words about guys. I know I was too at first, but you have to see it’s not really about them is it? I can get super angry in one second right now if i think with my ego and say; how dare he do this to me, how rude, how emmature, he has to answer to me, he has an obligation, etc. But that is my ego, and all it does it upsets ME and not anyone else, as you said, you messsaging him only made you upset and not him. I do agree with all you said, but that is at first when you are upset, then I go to the next faze that I put my ego aside. My true self knows that deep down universe gives me what I need. It’s not about him. So I think you have to see it like I am seeing it now( I know I go up and down a lot but this has been helping me to see clearly recently) everyone has their own issues, he has them too, so he is probably dealing with whatever stage he is at in his life, we can judge them all we want, but the fact is I know that in my part I actually have done similar things to guys way in the past, that decided to leave them without consulting with them at all. Of course I was young and selfish, but my point is people need to learn their own life lessons it’s not our job to teach them, all we can do is to take care of ourselves and if they are not suppose to be part of our lives we will stay away from them.
Thanks again for the insignts 🙂 I hope I helped a little as well
Love
Danubelle

HI Sercay,
thank you for your message. However I really wish that everyone would read my last message before they replay. My ego would agree with you yes, I dont want to repeat the same thing, but I will just say it in a short way that, I did believe I had the right, but I didn’t think it would help me in anyway to do it. And I felt at peace with it. I just needed some closure without contacting. I am in a much better place now and thanks everyone for the help. I think I already know the reason, so there is no point, I just am trying to move on. And yes people should not just walk out, but I believe if he needs to learn something he will, I don’t need to poison my world more than I have so far. The universe will take care of it 🙂
Guys please if you have positive message in you and have positive energy in your words I will welcome it, but otherwise anger and grudge and hatred better to stay away from us don’t you think ? 🙂
Thanks again dear for the support
Danubelle